12 February 2013

the end might be over there somewhere

Yesterday I went and bought a timer so that I could keep track of my 15 minute bursts. I also got some microfibre cloths. I think I might have found a new thing that I can collect/hoard... I'm pretty sure this is not what I intended to happen.

This week, according to FlyLady, we are in our bathrooms and one other room. She suggests the home office. I don't have one, nor do I have anywhere that may serve to be the equivalent. I think I may just have to focus all my energy at my bathroom for the week and hopefully it'll be spotless at the end of it.

I also got some yarn so I could start on the second of the blankets I'm making for my friends unborn twins. I've done the orange one and I'm thrilled to bits with how it turned out. I used 3 different shades of yarn and have been searching for the same in red for this version (she asked for one orange, one red). This had been a sticking point as I just wasn't happy with the yarns available to me at my local shop. But yesterday I finally made the choice and I'm quite pleased with what I've ended up with.

If you follow me on instagram be prepared for a (further) flurry of blanket progress pictures!

I'm going to see my counsellor in a bit and I'm starting to let myself get nervous about it again. I don't understand where this feeling comes from as I'm fully aware of how nice she is and that she isn't there to judge me. But none-the-less, that little voice comes back, telling me I haven't done enough, that I haven't succeeded.

It's tiring being so emotionally on edge all the time.

I've been half thinking about what I might write for this weeks Friday favourites blog and I'm really struggling to make the choices. I've written a very quick list that I'm going to try and keep to. But I've started with the pressure on myself and how might choices might be wrong. How my choices could be wrong, when it's me that I'm choosing them for I've yet to work out *sigh*

I wrote some more on my story last night and have got to the end of the first chapter, I've also jotted down some notes about where the next chapter is going. Can't believe how organised I can be about some things when I can't do it about others!

Enough of me for now, positive thought?
If I can envision the end, I can make it there. And I think I can see the end of my recovery. It's a long way off, but I can see it...     

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