a book a month challenge

the perfect companions to a good read

I am almost certain that I have mentioned my love for the fashion blog essbeevee before, though possibly not in a fashion context as there is so much more to Sarah's site than that.

The thing I have been most obsessed with all year has been her book club posts. This is not a normal book club though as it isn't about everyone reading one book it's about one person sharing their favourites to give us all a little bit of inspiration.

As I said, I have been reading them all year and have decided to make myself a reading list based on the recommendations that have been shared. Some of the books mentioned are ones that I have already read and loved which was quite satisfying, but ruled them out of my list. 

I have decided to try and get back into reading regularly as it seems to be something that I have got out of recently and I have therefore charged myself merely to read one book a month as I should be able to manage that! I have tried to pick books I have either never heard of, but sound intriguing, or ones I have wanted to read for ages and not got round to. There are a couple from authors I have read before and one from an author a lot of people have told me to read but I've not ever quite got into despite having started a couple of her books. 

I should really have waited a couple of days before writing this post as this months Books Are Amazing post won't go up until the 31st. I have therefore used Sarah's own list of favourites to get my 12th book from. I have read all the posts from most recent backwards and selected one book from each persons list. Some months I have wanted to pick all the books. Every month I have had to make a hard choice between two I liked the look of... 

Madam with the books she won earlier this year from DK Books

I think I should also write a review after I have read each book so that you can 1: make sure I'm sticking to it and 2: hopefully find some recommendations of your own. I will also be taking any further recommendations you care to give me. I shall post the review at the end of each month to give myself chance to get it read. 

I am really rather excited at this idea :) If anyone would like to gift me any of these books I am also completely happy to accept them! (cheeky, I know). I do have a birthday coming up sort of soon so don't be surprised if I request a specific book from you!

The list is in order of how I took it from the blog starting with November's book and working back to last December. This is not necessarily the order in which they will be read. When I review them I will mention what month they're from with a link to the original post so that you can see the books I passed over for the one I eventually chose! (although, as I said, I wanted to mainly read most of them)

THE LIST
1 - The Shipping News by Annie Proulx
I have heard of this before, mainly as a film, but it sounded like something I would enjoy.

2 - I Capture The Castle by Dodie Smith
I have picked this up and put it down again in so many bookshops so many times. This year, I will read it!

3 - Wonder by R.J. Palacio
This just sounded like a really good read, to be honest.

4 - Gormenghast by Mervyn Peake
Another series of books I have wanted to read for ages and never gotten around to. I watched the BBC adaption of it and loved it.

5 - Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life (Volume 1) by Bryan Lee O'Malley
Seen the film, laughed all the way through it, seems like a good choice for a first graphic novel.

6 - The Shell House by Linda Newbury
This is another that just sounded like something I would enjoy reading.

7 - The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
It said a grown-ups Harry Potter, sort of. I'm sold.

8 - Devils Cub by Georgette Heyer
Ah, Ms. Heyer, you have been recommended to me so many times by so many people. Perhaps this is the book to spark my own love...

9 - The Raw Shark Texts by Stephen Hall
This just sounded surreal. And I like that in a book.

10 - The Red Tent by Anita Diamant
Based on a biblical character who had four mothers. I need to read this.

11 - Oryx And Crake by Margaret Atwood
I really enjoy Margaret Atwood's books, this is one I have so far not got round to. 

12 - The Book Of Lost Things by John Connolly
Again, grown-up fairy tale is enough to have me hooked!

I have made an Amazon wishlist with all the books on too! I might have to investigate the amazon marketplace for some of it's famous 1p bargains... 

a new chapter

I have started on a new story, my old one has come to a grinding halt and I can't think my way around it. This is what I have so far, let me know what you think:

It started on a Tuesday. At least, she thought it was a Tuesday. It was hard to tell from this point in time. Especially as time was refusing to run in a straight line any more.

She wasn't even sure how she had done it. She had woken up as normal, had a shower and got dressed. She'd mulled over the red dress or the blue playsuit (she'd gone for the dress as playsuits could be so annoying sometimes).

She'd had a quick breakfast, just a banana and a less than satisfying cup of coffee. And then she'd left the house and walked down the street the same as she always did. She had turned the corner onto the main road and been surprised to see the bus stop had disappeared. And not just been moved or something, but genuinely gone. With no marks on the pavement to even show where it had been yesterday, where she'd stood at the same spot and caught the bus to work.

She'd turned to go into the little corner shop that she sometimes went into when she ran out of bread or milk. The owner looked at her in a sleazy way so she only used it in emergencies. Except, it wasn't there either. In fact it was a different shop altogether. It was a full post office with a box built into the wall and everything.

Now this was a definite turn up for the books. As far as she could remember there was a big campaign to stop them closing post offices down. And they definitely weren't opening new ones. Moreover, this had the look of a well-established place. There were even cards in the window with adverts on. She took a step closer to read one which had caught her eye, it had a photo of a vintage Fiesta on it, but what had really caught her eye was the large writing underneath which said "Only 1 Year Old". And the price next to it was enough to make her laugh. 

She went inside and was immediately struck by what people were wearing. She found herself staring at a man with a moustache so like the comedy ones people sometimes wear out of a cracker, she almost laughed. She was going to talk to one of the cashiers when she started noticing the price labels on things. Most of them were in pence. And there were half pennies on some of them!

Now, she was definitely afraid. She was trying to rationalise it, but she couldn't. It appeared she'd gone round the corner from her house and walked straight into the seventies. Or maybe the eighties, she couldn't remember when half pennies had been withdrawn. 

And had she been born then? She was born in 1986, they must have been gone by then as she didn't remember them.

So, whenever she was it was definitely before she was born. And how was she to get home? Or even explain to her boss why she wasn't at work!

"Sorry I wasn't at work yesterday, but I seemed to have slipped through the space/time continuum and come out before I was born. Couldn't get a bus from there, it won't happen again."

She left the post office again and stood back outside where the bus stop should be. She looked and noticed all the cars on the road had really old number plates, the kind that started with all letters. She walked back around the corner in the hope that things would return to normal, but knew instantly that they hadn't when she saw a white man coming out of her neighbour Mr Singh's door. And as she watched him lock the door behind him she was pretty certain she wasn't just making a rather stupid error. 

She stopped in front of her house and saw that the front door was now a pale blue colour whereas she'd painted it a cheerful yellow. She didn't really know what to do with herself. She realised that all her money would be of the wrong size and design so she wouldn't be able to buy anything. She hoped that the banana would sustain her for however long this adventure lasted.

She walked down to the bottom of her street and saw there was a playpark on the scruffy patch of grass that she knew as a rather empty parade of shops. There were several mums sat on the benches watching their small children play. She smiled to herself as she remembered how much freedom she'd had as a child. Not stuck in the house with some form of electronic entertainment.

And then she saw the sign notifying the residents of brand new shops to be constructed. Work expected to start August 1982... 

in the quiet of the night

I wrote this last night, be aware, a whole nights sleep works wonders!

 

 

 

I have had the evening pretty much to myself. Madam fell asleep almost straight after tea at my parent’s house. We left her about an hour and then transferred her back to our place. I got her straight into bed and read her a story and despite protesting that she really wasn’t tired after all, didn’t hear a peep from her after I left the room…

 

Not tired though…

 

I was downstairs and on my own by 8pm! This hasn’t happened in like, a year. I gave it a good twenty minutes before I was confident I really could relax. I borrowed the Hobbit DVD from my parents and have been watching that. I’ve also been doing some crocheting so I’m feeling quite calm and relaxed.

 

I’m making a scarf, not sure why. Just felt like it. I’m trying to practice joining the motifs as I make them so that I don’t have the boring task of sewing them all together at the end. It’s going well so far, I think.

 

I had forgotten just how good it feels to have the better part of my evening alone. Especially as, since madam’s bed broke last week, I have to share my bed at the moment. For the first time in an absolute age I might actually be ready to go to bed before 2am, even despite all the caffeine my mum has fed me today! That woman does like a strong coffee…

 

I have been left with thinking space, though. And once the film finished and everything was quiet then my brain decided to start ticking over. And it’s ticked onto the quietness is bad setting and is now screaming things at me so loudly that all my nice relaxing is being put to waste.

 

So that’s why I’m writing this now, in the quiet and the dark, so that maybe my brain will click off again soon and I might get that restful sleep I so need. I have a feeling I might be out of luck.

 

I have my music on to push the quiet away, and I’m deliberately listening to upbeat stuff, I know what my triggers are…

 

When did it get to be that the quiet was my enemy though? I like peace and quiet and seek tranquillity out for the most part. But now I’m suddenly being beaten around the head with all my negative thoughts and I wish I was somewhere, anywhere, else.

 

Want to know what it is that I’m thinking? Maybe if I write it down I’ll be able to get it to move one.

 

First off, the big one, that hides behind everything I do and is always just under the surface. I am alone. And lonely. The quiet just brings it out. There is no noise because there is no-one else here. I am alone because I was left behind by a man who doesn’t know how to care about me and that I still have feelings for, even though they are fading.

 

Which brings us to: No-one will ever love me because I am obviously unlovable and not good enough to care about. I am unlovable because I am fat and disgusting. I should just hide from the world; it doesn’t need me and doesn’t miss me.

 

I am useless; I don’t have a job or a purpose and make no contribution. I take what the state gives me and I give nothing back. I sit on my arse and I let the world go on without me. Because it doesn’t even need me.

 

I am not good enough. I don’t deserve the good things I have.

 

I was hoping I might think of some ways of arguing with myself, but it hasn’t worked. The voices are too loud and I am too weak. I know – I believe – that my mind is playing tricks on me. But it’s so hard to switch it off… Quick, think of something positive

 

I can’t

 

I really can’t

 

Gah! Think! Positive!

 

This Too Shall Pass

Still I Rise

I am strength and resilience…

I am loved.

 

 

 

 

 

And so to bed.

a map of my heart

I was thinking of what to write about today, and then this line popped into my head and then the next, and suddenly I was writing a short story. I really wasn’t planning on it, but sometimes that’s just the way my mind works, I guess…

I have given it the title Map.

I drew a map of my heart. I coloured it and shaded it. I framed it and hung it in plain view. I watched as the dust settled on it and blurred the lines. My feelings became duller the harder it was to see the outline I’d drawn.

This suited me for a while, for I had grown weary of my emotions ruling my life. But gradually I realised that without my feelings I was living the zombie life. I lived as though I was already dead and I found it to be dull.

So I took my picture down and blew on it to remove the dust. As I blew I saw the map was no longer there. All those years of neglect had left it too weak to survive. I had to start again. But I no longer remembered the paths that used to be so familiar and I could not recall the pattern of its beating.

 

 

My only solution was to get to know it again, to test it out and see how it ran. I started small and took my heart to my friends and asked them to show me the lines that they might remember. They helped me trace my edges, but only I could trace the core.

I tried to use it to see if that would remind me and got a kitten to practice on. It was cute and fluffy, but the first time I watched it crunching a spider I lost the love I had for it and gave it to my friend the next day. I missed it though and knew that it was part of my map now. I reclaimed my kitten and learned to live with its cat nature.

I met a kind man in a queue one day, we chatted to pass the time. He made me laugh and invited me for coffee. I felt another path begin and agreed. I found myself learning to depend upon him and gave myself to him. I was surprised to find that as I drew these new lines of my heart the lines of his were weaving themselves in too.

I carried his heart in mine and felt safe knowing he also held my own. We lived together in happiness for many years and my heart map was thriving and I learned all its places. But there were parts of it that I never found again, that were lost forever to my knowledge.

But I had learned to be more myself and less afraid. I felt sure the corners I’d lost were gone for a reason. And I realised that my map might not be the same as it was at first but that didn't make it less good. Only different.

 

So... 

 

Yeah, what did you think?

I think, therefore I am...

 
 

 

 

Dear Reader,

 

I have been doing pondering about my blogging again, so I thought today's post should be about that. Rather than more holiday funz with madam...

 

When I started writing I was hoping to manage a post a day, but I guess that was slightly naïve of me, given I have no proper internet access at home (and I don't like the blogger app). But I have managed, for the most part to get out at least 5-6 posts a week.

 

The blog has picked up a few regular readers (Hellooo!) and a couple of people have taken the time out to comment on some of what I've written (thank you). I think I have managed to be vaguely funny.

 

I am missing being able to blog at the moment, it's making me feel cramped and slightly stressy. I also feel like I'm talking about madam all the time when this blog is supposed to be about me. That sounds a selfish statement, but I guess what I mean is that I wanted to use this as a forum for my many and rapid thoughts in order to slow them down and organise them a bit better.

 

But lately (especially whilst we're on school holidays) everything seems to be about madam. And I'm not sure I'm happy with that. I love talking about her, but am aware that that isn't necessarily what other people may be interested in. It's hard when I'm spending all day with her to have space for anything else.

 

And having re-read yesterday's post I realised that I have started to sound like one of those boring people who thrust photos of their kids/pets/holidays onto people. Not cool, Pearl, not cool.

 

I also feel like I've been rushing my posts (mainly because I have) and that they are now not as well structured or sort-of thought out as they were. I have always had a habit of bouncing from one topic to another it's part of why I need to work on my focussing, but it's getting out of hand. I shall strive to be better...

 

And what do I want to do now? Well, I quite want to try and re-focus on my growth and development (I'm trying very hard not to use "personal journey", because, ugh). I'd like to be able to interact more with the people who do read my blog.

 

I see this post as a message to those of you who are interested in me and my ramblings, I want to be something you enjoy reading, not something you do because you are my friend (though I'll take anything I can get!). I'd like to know what it is that makes you bother to read on and what it is that annoys you (constant insecurity on my part, probably).

 

I enjoy writing this blog, and I will carry on regardless, but it would be nice to be able to have a discussion with you all. Through twitter or on here, I'm not fussed. I do promise to stop rambling on about every little thing my child does, though she will still feature as she is good entertainment! But I don't want her to go grow up and be embarrassed about what her mum wrote about her on the internet! 

 

I have tried to put everything that worries me into one post so I don't write another one like this too soon down the line! Basically, less focus on madam and more on what I'm thinking/feeling/struggling with. 

 

Does that sound good to you?

 

(and yes, those are my pondering faces... or perhaps I was bored, one or the other!)     

tiredness can kill, take a break

 

 

I'm tired. Not just a bit sleepy, but suddenly and hugely exhausted. I think it's the weekend and everything that happened catching up with me. I knew it would happen, but I wasn't sure what form it would take. I'm quite glad I'm not just a weepy mess for a change!

 

But I am feeling too tired to think of witty and enlightening things to tell you. I would like to say how great the support I've had from everybody about this weekend has been. My Guider rang last night to check how madam was doing and all of Twitter and Facebook is awash with people giving me and madam lots of love.

 

It's so nice to be reminded of all the good things in the world sometimes.

 

So for today, just whilst I go away and sleep for a bit to try and recharge before I have to deal with madam's energy levels later, I shall bid you adieu!

how does college mix with depression?

I had a good tutorial yesterday at college and managed to get my head organised somewhat. Though I still have a few things to do, I can envision getting to the end of it. The best thing was being told that I could include my blog posts as evidence in the journal writing section.

 

This is great news as I think I write more stuff in this format than I ever did when I was writing the journals. I find it easier to write like this. I guess because there is no pressure to fulfil any kind of brief or to keep myself on topic.

 

As I was walking up to college yesterday I was giving myself a talking to (I do this a lot) and was thinking about the post I wrote about my thoughts on how I see depression and I was reviewing how I'd described it. And I realised that I don't really fit the traditional view in quite a few ways.

 

I've always heard depression described as being at the bottom of a black hole trying to see the light again. Of the perception of depression as a black dog. As I mentioned I see it more as the Nothing from the Neverending Story than as a dog.

 

But then I thought about the whole being in a pit of despair thing, and it's not how I see it. I feel more like I'm on top of an incredibly high mountain, in the dark and I need to get down and I can't. I've been terrified of heights (well, falling) for as long as I can remember and yet I've never been afraid to climb.

 

So I feel like I've done what I used to do as a child climbed too high up a tree and now I'm stuck. I can't come down as I'm afraid to fall but I can't stay where I am either as it's not safe for me. I'm also enveloped by this all consuming darkness so I can't even see if there's a safe path for me to use.

 

When I was younger and stuck up a tree whilst playing out with my brothers then my older bro would climb to where I was and show me where to put my feet and guide me down step by step.

 

I feel like I still need that intensive support to be able to find my way from where I am to where I want to be.

 

My poor tutor yesterday had to sit over me and make me fill in the worksheets that I had missed. I wish I'd been able to ask for her help earlier in the process as being able to explain myself was helpful and helped lift the blocks I've been putting in my own way. I have one that I need to decide what to do with still.

 

It's about Guilt. And I can fill it in or not. Or I can write on it about why I can't fill it in at this time. And I don't know what to do. Filling it in is not really an option as I'm afraid it would open a floodgate that I might not be able to get closed again. So I could just remove it from my portfolio, but I fell I would be cheating to do that. So I guess I'm left with having to write why I can't fill it in.

 

And I guess I have to remember that this portfolio is really for me. Not anyone else. It's my handbook, my evidence that I do know what I'm talking about (mostly).

 

So I guess I better go and do that...

A day full of events

Today is special for many reasons. It's the first day of May, it might not be blazing sunshine, but it is quite definitely Spring at last. Today is also my uncles birthday, he's 60 this year and my mum (his big sister) made me hunt down a copy of his favourite childhood book for him!

 

In the end we (I) managed to find a first edition of Noddy and the Magic Rubber. Hopefully, it has now arrived safely at his house and is still in the almost pristine condition it was in when it left us.

Also my lovely friend H has set off on her Pedals for Pounds 4 tour of Yorkshire. She is cycling an impressive 80 miles today and madam and I are getting ready to go and wave and cheer when she arrives in Hull later today. My parents are also coming and have planned to have tea at lunchtime so that they can hang about and wait if poor H is a straggler! (such confidence in her skills)

I'm so proud of her for taking on this monumental task. If you think that someone cycling 240 miles in aid of charity is something you'd like to get behind then you can sponsor H (and her dad P) on her Just Giving page they're looking to raise a total of £2000. So go on, bung 'em a fiver, they deserve it!

 

And the number 80 is also significant to me today as I am up to my 80th post! I started this little blog as a bit of an experiment on the 31st January and I genuinely wasn't thinking that I would have the willpower to keep it going after the first novelties wore off. But here I am after 3 solid months of blogging almost every day.

 

I'm quite impressed with myself. Also, I'm over 3000 pageviews and last month I broke the 1000+ pageviews in a month mark! Thank you so much for reading. It's so nice to know that what I say amuses and/or entertains enough to keep you checking in. I don't think I'm going to be one of these people who get to blog for a living, or even part-time. But I hope that I can keep plugging away.

I hope that by trying to be honest with myself and admit to the things that frighten me, that hold me back, that inspire me, that make me smile I can carry on giving a voice to the people who haven't learned how to speak up yet. That I can inspire anyone to just go and ask. It isn't the end of the world.

 

You are not a failure.

 

You can get better.

 

I can get better.

 

It's just a marathon not a sprint. And sometimes you have to stop for a breather. But you'll get there, same as I will.

 

So thank you again for reading. Thank you for supporting me when I needed it most. Thank you for still being here even though I spout sentimental guff every now and again!

 

Love you all :)  

a visit from the black dog

I'm still not really in a writing mode, and I'm not sure why. All the writing I've done over the last few months has been so helpful to me. I've been able to work through the thoughts in my head and try and do that sharing thing that is actually ridiculously hard, but very helpful.

I'm worried that the motivation was only there whilst I had the medication and now that I don't then my mind is closing me out again and that maybe I wasn't as ready as I hoped to come off it. The trouble at the minute is that I seem to have gone back to letting things build up in my head etc.

I think this is probably a sign that I do really need to go back to the doctor's. I know it's not an admission of defeat or weakness to say that I need help still, but I'm a little disappointed in myself that at this point in my life I need to have medication just to stay on an even keel.

I've been trying to stick to my routines and I haven't given in and ordered take-away instead of sticking to my meal planning and making us fresh food every day. So I guess in some respects I am better, but I think I still need that background helping hand that the Prozac seems to give me.

To be honest it does it's job fairly well without me even noticing it, it's just my own personal thing that I don't want to be on it. Having a dad who's a Psychiatric Pharmacist doesn't help that I guess!

I have vivid memories of being on holiday in various foreign countries with my dad wearing a Mr Prozac t-shirt... the number of strangers that used to come and talk to him about it... My mum had to ban him from wearing it before she'd had a coffee!

But I guess it really is a miracle drug for some people.

I just wish I didn't need it. I want to be in control, not have some drug do it for me. I want to know that my decisions (no matter how bad they might be) are my own.

I'm aware that I've been hiding from the world a bit again at the moment, I know that I had gotten out of that (though not the no phonecalls thing *shudders* I hate phonecalls!). So I guess it's time I went back and tried again. Give it a bit more time, give myself more of a break. I will get better though, I know it.

I know that I am starting to be me again, so I know I can. Just want to be able to be me. It's weird not knowing yourself or how you've got where you are. People with depression often describe it as a black dog. And I guess I'm not sure that's how I'd picture it. But the blackness is certainly true.

It's as if I'm trying to run from the nothing, you know, from the Neverending Story and I guess it's a longer marathon than I'd thought.

this post is not in use

 

 

I apologise, it's a bit of a case of complete writers block for the last couple of days. I have nothing to say, but a need to stay in touch with you all.

 

I'll try and write something tomorrow...

obsessional blogging is bad for the health

This blogging thing is bad for my health. I have no time to write a proper entry today so instead I shall leave you with this to watch.

Cups (When I'm Gone)

I am obsessed with it. It's from the Pitch Perfect film and is itself a cover of a Lulu and the Lampshades track which is on permanent rotation on my iTunes atm.

clothing the small child

I've been debating a "what my child is wearing" section to this blog, but I think that might only encourage her. Today she is wearing a dress which is black and white printed and I think looks like birds but she says looks like leaves. It has a neon pink ribbon belt and she has a pink cardi on. She has a butterfly headband on that I made her from a kit the other day and purple star print socks.

 

It is quite a sight to behold. For once I'm not allowed to take a photo of her, so I can't show you... The outfit in the picture is what she's going to wear to her cousins wedding.

 

We will be going up to the Country Park this afternoon as it's a lovely day and madam will need some form of exercise. She's not entirely appropriately dressed, but it'll be fine... We want to see if the flooding has finally abated. Madam was seriously amused by the fact there were picnic tables completely submerged last time we were there.

 

Currently she is glued to Mister Maker on Cbeebies so we're all getting a few minutes peace and quiet! She's really into making things and made a really quite good bee at nursery last week. Then, obviously, she has to write her name on.

 

Her handwriting is pretty good for someone who's not at school yet. She is encouraged to write whatever she wants at nursery and they do teach the letters of the alphabet. But they don't actually teach them to write. Or specifically to read either. Madam  is starting to do that, too. Slightly concerned she'll have nothing to do when she does get to school!

 

***I have to laugh, there is currently controversy as Mister Maker just drew a rainbow with the colours the wrong way round. So the red was on the inside and the violet the outside... She is not impressed.***

 

I have a parents evening to go to at her new school on the 4th June. I'll get to meet her teacher and have a look around the school. This is kind of exciting as it's my old school, which I mentioned the other day and I haven't been at the school since. It'll be nice to see just how much it's changed in 24 years! (It can't have been that long ago, can it?)

 

Then madam has two sessions to go and join in and get to meet her teacher and classmates. We have done an unintentional useful thing by having a blue gingham school dress which is actually school uniform standard. So I'll give you 3 guesses what she'll be wearing... That and her days of the week socks! ;)

 

I'm a little annoyed by the uniform as they're insisting she needs logoed stuff which costs a bomb. I'm pretty sure they're not supposed to do that. I should be able to just get some cheap stuff from the supermarket! I think we'll just be getting the jumper. I refuse to buy 2 cardigans for her when they're £13.45 each. It's bad enough the sweaters are a tenner!

 

And you know she needs two as she'll be having school lunches and will be wearing her lunch as well! Fortunately they look like they're quite generous sizes so hopefully they'll last a couple of years.

 

I actually hadn't really considered just how much stuff she'd need for school. There'll be a major buying session coming up, I can tell... There is all the other stuff on top of the uniform. She has an indoor and outdoor PE kit to get, a pair of indoor shoes and they want her to have a school PE bag and book bag as well!

 

And then I have to name it all... Oh joy.

 

Sunday update

Yesterday I bought more storage boxes. Now this is a good thing for the most part as it helps with my tidying, but I'm meant to be getting rid of stuff not just making it neater... I filled the first one with my overflow yarn stash that I'd got out of the living room. So that was totally necessary.

I haven't decided what I'm putting in the second one. Fairly sure it won't take me too long to work it out. Madam has tried to claim it for toys, but that isn't happening. I've been thinking it's probably going to end up with my patterns and things in...

I let madam make my mum and dad an anniversary card for my parents last night. She spent ages covering it in stickers and then very carefully did writing on the inside and on the envelope. It was really cute. She has such a great concentration face, complete with stuck out tongue...

I reviewed my novel so far and have decided that chapter 7 is better than I had thought. I shall put it on the site in a bit. I also managed to remember a couple of things I'd put in earlier chapters that I need for later on! The next chapter has progressed some, but I need to think of the next clue and I don't really know what to do this time.

I can't decide whether to make another riddle or use a different idea this time. It would be nice to inject something else so that I can get the two parts of my plot to converge for the final part. I appreciate that if you haven't read chapter 7 you won't realise there are two parts to the plot yet! ;)

I've nearly reached 20,000 words and I'm worried that if I'm nearly halfway through I'm not going to have enough material to make my 50,000 word count goal. Especially as my total words I'm aiming for is 63,500 as I'd written 5 chapters before we started. Oh dear.

It's nice to know that my writing has inspired a friend to give it a go to. I don't think she's ready for a camp just yet, but there's another one in July she might like to try! You don't have to write 50,000 words either, there are a few people in my cabin that are aiming for much lower figures.

Last night, after having written for a bit I had to then do some crochet. Madam has asked me to make some pockets to put on her cardigan and also a couple of little flowers to spruce it up a bit. It's nice to see that she's getting into the customisation bug nice and early. I've been adding bits to her clothes since she was tiny.

I did, at one point, sew her name in teddy bear letters onto the back of one of her hoodies. I need to unpick all the letters before I get rid of the jacket as she wants to keep them. This was not something I had thought hard enough about at the beginning!

 

I started this post before lunch and it's now about 4pm. I have been shopping with mother and we've got madam a really pretty dress from Monsoon with a matching shrug. So that's her wedding outfit organised as well! She is going to need some shoes to go with it, but I'm guessing that won't be too hard. Even if we can't get matching she could wear white or silver...

 

I have also food shopped. Without a menu plan this week... I'll have to do it in reverse and hope I got most of the things I'm going to need, though obviously, I can top things up. I am going to be making easy pea and ham soup at some point, cause it's my favourite and I've got a hankering for it.

 

As I have spent far to long on this post I better share it with you all, I suppose!

 

Oh, and madam is currently in a shower cap with her hair slathered in conditioner and then mum and I are cutting it off. It needs done, she won't let me look after it properly and if we can start over it might be easiest. 

On writing, anniversaries and birthdays!

I picked a front cover for my novel :) I'm suffering from major writers block at the minute and progress is being ridiculously slow. But at least I have an idea of what the cover will be for if it ever gets finished!

 

I did try and write some more last night but only managed about 250 words or so. I think I might have to re-read everything and remember all the things I set up already and then do a bit of planning in the notebook I bought specifically for novel planning which is currently empty!

 

I need to focus a bit more on the characters I think, at the moment they're somewhat 2-dimensional and I think it might be time to get some back story going. For example, I've introduced some characters from my Imp's past and have mentioned something he did. It might be worth writing it out (even if I don't necessarily include it in the novel).

 

I have been trying to sort some playlists on my iTunes to give me a bit of chilled background music to write by, but I'm suffering from a distinct lack of choice. I set up a playlist that plays the least played tracks I listen to, but that just means it's very random! And also tracks I'm more "meh" about.

 

My parents are celebrating their 39th wedding anniversary today. This means next year I have to remember to provide a decent present and card! I have an idea to get them a nice piece of glass made by my friends at Gekodesigns and using the millefiore beads they were given on their last trip to Venice.

 

This is probably a better idea than some more artwork or something as the picture I got them for their 30th is still waiting to be hung! It's really cool too, an orange Chinese dragon on a dark blue background... But I'm not bitter!

 

They are going for a meal tonight at the lovely Rolando's restaurant. I have had several very nice lunches there (though we're still in mourning for the pear and pecorino sandwich). And we did have a nice evening meal with my aunt and uncle when they were here for madam's 3rd birthday. I am relieved of taxi duty on this occasion as it's only local :)  

 

For the rest of today I think I will mainly be trying to occupy madam. My parents have to go and do boring things that utilise the car so I can't leave them to babysit whilst I escape to the cinema with Small Print Larger! Curses... (though I don't think my parents are particularly talking to madam after the nail varnish incident). Might give it a go for tomorrow though... ;)

 

I also have to fathom out what I'm making for dinner, I think I have lots of things in the store cupboard that I could utilise. I then need to do my menu planning for next week. I get to be really busy on my birthday, so I doubt I will be doing much celebrating... Though I will get my Kindle! I shall mainly be playing with that and seeing if I can indeed transfer music onto it :)

 

I will also be downloading various things for me to read...

 

I am slightly undecided about this birthday. For the second year in a row it will be being overshadowed by external events going on around it. Whilst I am of an age where I'm not that fussed about the actual birthday, I would like a calm one next year! I also would like to have a meal at the Japanese restaurant in town as I've never been :) 

 

I shall also attempt to overcome this blooming writers block soon! 50,000 words is an awful lot!

A day at the museums

 

 

Madam and I have been enjoying ourselves today. We had decided that today was museum day and as it turned out it has been a lovely day. The sun has shone and it was cool but not as cold as it has been. So the walk from the bus stop to the museum quarter was most pleasant.

 

We started at the Streetlife Museum and madam was rather taken with the old model cars and the different types of bicycle. We both agreed that the stink in the carriage section upstairs was quite unnecessary! We put a couple of 20p's into the old arcade machines and had fun testing out the foot massager.

 

We were going to go around the Arctic Corsair but they weren't recommending it for children under 6 as it's a guided tour for an hour (and there was no way madam would have stood and listened to the wee chap). So we headed for the Hull and East Riding Museum instead (the museums all have a communal courtyard and are a short walk from each other).

 

This seemed to capture madam's imagination rather well, she was most taken with Mortimer (the Mammoth she's with in the picture above). And spent quite a while studying the mosaics in the Roman section. They have some really beautiful examples if you are interested... But that appeared to be the end of her concentration capacity and she raced through the last bit. But you know, upwards of an hour concentrating is a definite achievement/improvement for her.

 

And, as the museums were all free, I let madam choose something from the shop to take home. So we now have a weird sticky dinosaur thing that climbs down windows/mirrors and a multi-coloured pencil with the museum's name on.

 

I had also said that if she behaved then we could go and get an ice-cream on the way back to the bus. The weather being quite so lovely today made this an even better option than had perhaps been planned. Baskin and Robbins even had a queue!

 

Madam forced herself to have chocolate with fudge sprinkle things and I managed Black Forest Gateau and Turkish delight flavours! Soooo good! For dinner tonight we will be having sugar-free jelly to sort of compensate... There is going to be sausages first, in case you think I'm giving her nothing but jelly for tea!

 

Even better than all our lovely museum fun in the morning was that the chap came to fix our dodgy boiler (that I'm not actually at home to use atm). I had a feeling it would be a simple task, and sure enough he was in and out in about 10mins max! But we so now have hot water and heat again. So exciting after being without it for so long...

 

I ended up spending far too long watching crappy videos on YouTube last night, but I have a bit of writers block which is annoying me... I'm going to leave the chapter I'm writing as is and then I might well come back and edit it at a later time. It makes a chapter in it's own right and I feel like I'm writing in circles if I keep plugging away with it.

 

I shall start a new chapter tonight and see where it takes me :)