10 February 2013

good day

I had a pretty good day yesterday. Went into the market in town, pottered about, drooled over a few handbags (purple, satchel-style) and got some stuff for lunch. Went home to the parents, let them make lunch for me and madam and then escaped for a nice walk just as my dad started yelling at the poor rugby players on the TV. It doesn’t seem to matter to him that they never do what he tells them to… This being a Six Nations match and my dad’s team having lost last week we were working on the basis there would be even more yelling than usual.

We headed down to our local country park and let madam run wild for a bit. We were lucky that enough of the flooding had disappeared that we were able to make a good circuit round some of the paths, though the ponds at the top end had become something more along the lines of one giant (and really quite deep) lake. We did stop madam from jumping in as I didn’t fancy having a soggy child in the car all the way home again. We did stop off for hot chocolate on the way home but that was mainly so we could make sure the rugby would be finished before my mum got in!

I have done no more de-cluttering for a couple of days and I’m not really sure why. I’m starting to get into some of the routines I’d like to keep a hold of. I am making sure I do my “swish and swipe” every morning. I’ve been keeping my sink shiny and I’ve actually brushed my teeth every night this week. I got out of the habit of it when I was pregnant as I threw up every time I tried and it’s proved to be something I’ve really struggled to get back into doing.

I know that depression affects the way you look after yourself so I don’t think that’s been helping. I really love having clean teeth again! I’ve never had any dental work barring a couple of routine extractions when I had braces fitted as a child. I had an overbite which was my own fault (thumb sucking) and a cross bit which was not. I’m not sure if any of my friends remember how addicted I was to my thumb! I think L might be the only who knew me pre-braces! I do still suck my thumb when I’m really tired, if I know I won’t get caught anyway…

I was telling one of my college friends about the daily routine I get emailed and she was quite fascinated that anyone would need to be reminded to get dressed properly and brush their teeth. I tried to explain how depression makes you feel like you’re walking through treacle, like your world has sped up all around you and you’re always running to catch up. So if you’re not going out the house that day why get dressed? And if you haven’t got enough time in the morning because you just can’t get out of bed then you skip brushing your teeth. Being reminded that these are important jobs to do is a step towards recovery again. I can honestly say that the period of time when I couldn’t even get dressed in the mornings was probably one of my lowest periods. I made the decision, on my own, a couple of years ago that I had to make myself get dressed otherwise I would get nothing done, ever.

Now I’m just going to have to keep reading the emails I get sent and try a little harder this week to follow all the instructions. I’m going to see if I can get a proper timer to help me as it’s the one thing my phone won’t do! I genuinely couldn’t believe how much I could get done in just 15 minutes. It made me feel empowered.

That’s such a good feeling.

Random fact to end this post on: you can’t hum if you hold your nose.

And now you’ve probably just tried to! ;)


Lucy Lockett said...

"how depression makes you feel like you’re walking through treacle, like your world has sped up all around you and you’re always running to catch up. So if you’re not going out the house that day why get dressed?" I totally relate to this! I am trying to make myself get dressed on those days too, it really does make a difference!

Procrastinator General said...

It's funny how something so small as actually making yourself get dressed makes all the difference. I try to do it as soon as I get up, otherwise I'll hang around in my pyjamas for a while!