Lifestyle - Disney Film Perfectionism

My mum and I had a bit of a tidy up in my house a few weeks ago and it gave me the chance to reorganise the DVDs back into the cupboard where they are supposed to live. They had emigrated to various other parts of my living room and it was getting on my nerves no end.

Having a small child means I have ended up with quite a few Disney films in my collection (or at least that's what I keep telling myself is the reason) but I hadn't realised how out-of-hand the collection had gotten! 

I attempted to introduce madam to the joys of putting the collection in order, but she wasn't buying it... But I certainly did. Turns out we had over 50 Disney films which included 20 odd of the Classics series. I put them all in the correct order (they're numbered, helpfully) but then I began to wonder which ones we were missing.

The completionist part of me gets all worked up at the thought of gaps! So I figured I had better find out which ones we were missing and then I could tick them off - hyperventilation might be happening at that thought! 

Having made the list I have actually ticked some off already due to Asda having an offer on! Although, I did have to overrule madam about one of her choices (Bambi 2? I don't think so...) I did lose when she insisted on replacing the Incredibles though... Its Pixar, its not part of the same collection, dammit!

Now the list is looking more complete, but there are still loads missing! And I *still* don't have the AristoCats :-( Also, there are some discrepancies to the list as in the USA they don't count Dinosaur as being in the Classics collection but they do in the UK. And there is a film called the Wild which doesn't show up on the list at all for some reason... (We don't have it, but we do have trailers for it). 

Time for the list... Ones marked with a "*" are ones we own.

1. Snow White *
2. Pinocchio *
3. Fantasia (my parents own this one!)
4. Dumbo *
5. Bambi *
6. Saludos Amigos
7. The Three Caballeros
8. Make Mine Music
9. Fun & Fancy Free
10. Melody Time
11. The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad
12. Cinderella *
13. Alice in Wonderland *
14. Peter Pan
15. Lady and the Tramp *
16. Sleeping Beauty *
17. 101 Dalmatians *
18. The Sword in the Stone
19. The Jungle Book *
20. The AristoCats
21. Robin Hood
22. The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh
23. The Rescuers
24. The Fox and the Hound
25. The Black Cauldron
26. Basil the Great Mouse Detective
27. Oliver & Company
28. The Little Mermaid *
29. The Rescuers Down Under
30. Beauty and the Beast *
31. Aladdin *
32. The Lion King *
33. Pocahontas *
34. The Hunchback of Notre Dame
35. Hercules *
36. Milan
37. Tarzan
38. Fantasia 2000
39. Dinosaur *
40. The Emperor's New Groove *
41. Atlantis: The Lost Empire
42. Lilo & Stitch *
43. Treasure Planet
44. Brother Bear
45. Home on the Range
46. Chicken Little *
47. Meet the Robinsons
48. Bolt *
49. The Princess and the Frog *
50. Tangled *
51. Winnie-the-Pooh
52. Wreck It Ralph *
53. Frozen *

This list is from the IMdB website, some of the numbers and films don't match what's on the box! But as far as I can tell we own 25 of the 53 that have been released. There is one called Big Hero 6 coming out later this year that I am *really* looking forward to.

After filling all the shelves in my cupboard with DVDs I still had some leftover, so they're on the bookshelves and under the TV. I might need more storage space for them... That'll be another thing to add to the list of things to buy once I'm earning... 

Then maybe I could have a madam collection and a grown up collection *gets misty eyed* I could alphabetise mine... Yeah, I know, I'm weird... I would kind of like to put all the different animation studios in to their own collections, too. Perfectionism is a pain sometimes...

What do you obsess over?

Love, Pearl.

Lifestyle - Holiday Hijinks

Its half term and I am in that unenviable position of having had to entertain the madam for the last few days in the rather horrid weather. This has led to us spending more money than I would have liked because indoor things are (almost) never free!

We haven't even had chance to do a museum day which we always love... 

Monday we went to the cinema and finally got to see the Lego Movie. And it was as good as I had been led to believe. My only issue was the part that was in live action. I just felt like it slowed the whole movie and it was the only point where madam got fidgety. But it was awesome, on the whole. 

Tuesday was a fun trip to the job centre so I could sign on and then a trip into Hull to re-submit my Divorce petition as there had been an error on the first version. Despite my mum and I having checked, double checked and checked again. Bugger.

The error was mainly caused by a difficult to interpret marriage certificate, but the court sent me an example that I could follow and I'm hoping that this time it won't bounce straight back... 

Wednesday, nah, we didn't do anything much. We didn't even get dressed until 4pm! 

Yesterday we went swimming for the first time in ages. Madam therefore got to wear her new 'kini again and I had to run the "do I still fit in my swimsuit" gamut. The answer was "yes" and all systems were go! I stopped taking madam a while ago as I find it quite frustrating to not be able to swim and have to instead pay out for us to have a bath!

Mum came this time which helped no end and we tried to teach madam the basics of swimming. I can't afford the £45/term fees for lessons and she won't get them at school until year 3. So, we worked on teaching her to float. This merely requires her to stay still, which is a near impossibility for my wiggly girl! 

She pretty much got it, but her fear of putting her face in the water and other little things have made mum and I determined to bring her more often throughout the summer to build up her confidence. And maybe she might get to swim by the end of it too...

Today we went to the SeaLife Centre in Scarborough with my parents and brother (younger). We had a 40% off voucher but it was certainly not a cheap trip! Madam was given a pass book that she had to get stamped in various locations around the centre and also a Moshi Monster hunt form. This last was just for half term and we hadn't known about it, sadly. Madam is a Moshi Monster fan and was rather thrilled to meet Katsuma. 

We saw penguins and otters, jellyfish and seals, sharks, seahorses and turtles. It was really good fun. My mum even forked out for a rather silly photo of us all. This was mainly because it had all of us  in (barring big bro and girlf) which is an unusual occurrence. 

After we'd seen everything we headed to the beach for a picnic and madam had a quick paddle in the sea. We had a mooch along North Bay and then caught the little train back to the SeaLife Centre and the car. 

Madam slept all the way home whilst wearing her new pirate hat and hook. It was a good day :-) 

So, what's your week been like? I am actually going to need aftersun later! 

Love, Pearl. 

Books on the brain

I have made a start on my reading challenge and have been thoroughly enjoying my first book. So much so that I am a good halfway through if not further already. I am now at that point where I want to just motor through and keep reading all the books on the list.

However, I think that I will stop myself as that would defeat the point. Instead I will read some of the many other books that people have recommended I try as well. I will then include an "other books I read this month" section. 

I have lined up my next two or three on my Kindle. And having put a Georgette Heyer book on the list I have drawn many suggestions as to other ones I might like to try, I think I might even manage a Heyer a month to go alongside the rest of my list! 

Of course, this is relying on me being able to read a Georgette Heyer book all the way through as I have always failed in this quest so far! Mother is lending me her favourite to get me going on this task... 

The manic reading has mainly been enabled by my phone being rubbish at the moment. I cannot access the internet when I'm not on wi-fi and I am therefore twitterless at home. It is diabolical! But it does show me how dependant I have become on twitter to dispel loneliness and keep me amused in the evening. 

I am mainly either playing endless games of Fruit Ninja or reading my Kindle with a DVD on in the background. Yes, I do need the DVD, otherwise I am in silence! I do listen to music on my laptop too, but I get bored with the stuff I have and with no internet can't access any other stuff. 

We're currently outfit planning for Monday as we're going en famille to the panto in York. We went last year and saw Robin Hood and his Merry Mam which was the first time we'd ever been to a panto with madam. She spent most of the first half an hour or so absolutley absorbed in the show but with her hands firmly clamped over her ears.

This year's panto is Aladdin and The Twankeys

However, near the end of the first half there was a scene in which one of the characters was made to have a bath, fully clothed and in very cold water. She was on her feet and yelling more! More! with everyone else and after that seemed to forget her worries about noise and just sat back and really enjoyed herself. 

Her favourite part was a dream sequence where the characters appeared in their normal clothes and sang a take on Gangnam Style called, you guessed it, Panto Style. Madam announced in a very loud voice that the dame was a man, at which point he turned to her and said "yes love, I am". Brilliant :)

She still breaks into Panto Style at random moments...

  

New Year 2014

Happy New Year! I don't know why I bother getting excited by New Year, I mainly just do the same things every year...

I didn't even break open the red wine like I thought I might. I mainly just sat on the sofa with madam and watched Harry Potter 2-5 (we watched 1 the day before). Madam thought I should watch the next 3 but I pointed out I would get no sleep at all if I did that.

Madam made it until the end of the Goblet Of Fire and watched the fireworks the neighbours were setting off. She then almost immediately settled down next to me and fell fast asleep whilst I watched The Order Of The Phoenix. 

I didn't even get all the way through it before I fell asleep myself! We woke up at about 5am and hauled ourselves upstairs and collapsed into my bed. We finally surfaced at about 11am this morning! Really crap parenting, I am good at! (My parents do not approve of allowing a five year old to stay up until midnight!)

We got up, madam put on one of her many posh frocks (this one is from Primark, so not sure you can count it as posh...) and came over to mum and dad's. They were (as they do every year) watching the New Year's Day concert from Vienna. I love family traditions. Madam didn't even bat an eyelid at the random classical music concert and mainly just joined in waltzing to The Blue Danube at the end. 

We have had warm bread rolls and nice cheeses and now mother is preparing the New Year's Day feast for tea. This year it's a sort of boeuff bourginon followed by Christmas pudding. Yes, I know it's New Year, put we never have Christmas pudding on the actual day as it's just too much after everything else you have scoffed!

Now, talking of Christmas, I am enjoying relative peace to type this as madam is playing with the new Wendy house that my mum and dad got her. It is quite a bit bigger than anyone presumed it would be! It is basically an enormous cardboard box that has designs on the outside that she can colour in. With doors and windows too. 

It is so big she can stand up in it (the people who have a concept of how tall madam is are all impressed now!) I shall show you photos...

Massive, huh! It fills up just about all the available floor space in my parents conservatory. I am expected to take it home and find somewhere for it in my house! It will go in her bedroom. *grits teeth* It will!

I'm hoping she will use it as a home for all her dollies and soft toys as these are what she spends most time playing with. She loves playing families with them. They get told off a lot though, it has to be said!

Oh, and madam has cottoned on to a new idea. If I am not going to be married to Daddy any more, then I can get married again. And she could be a bridesmaid. Wearing a blue dress. With a bow at the back... Apparently! 

procrastination is reaching out!

I could make some joke about windmills in my mind, but nah...

I am a little overwhelmed. I recently checked my spam comments box (I have to say, I had forgotten to do it for ages) and found loads of stuff in there!  If you comment whilst anonymous it puts you in there automatically... There is some lovely feedback and some tips for how to progress. I am really thankful for this discovery as it helps me feel like I'm connecting with people on a much bigger scale than I had thought.

I am glad of this new impetus to keep moving forward. I am feeling a little like I have started an uphill climb at the moment. What with the job hunting that I am doing as well. 

Anyone who follows me on twitter will have noticed a distinct lack of me celebrating getting an interview for the cover supervisor job I applied for (which I wrote about here). This is cause I didn't get one. Even though I thought I had met all their criteria :(

I have emailed them in the hope of getting some feedback but have had no response so far. I have two or three jobs I'm applying for at the moment and will let you know if I hear back from anything. I am getting the distinct impression that being out of work for 5 years might be a big black mark against me. 

I haven't really had much chance to progress a lot further with my current craft project, but am still ahead of myself, so don't feel too worried about it all. I am also planning on how to write it all up so that you guys will be able to read all about it as soon as possible.

I have been doing nothing exciting with my time and am slightly disappointed that my planned trip to the cinema for Classic Movie Tuesday with the We Watch Films guys has been cancelled. This has become my monthly escape and I am now stuck in the house with madam this evening instead. But I am mainly just being moany and selfish, just ignore me... I am *quite* glad I don't have to sit at the Odeon for a few hours though, those seats are still as uncomfy as they ever were...

I think the last time I had been there before the WWF guys showed the Labyrinth was with friend L and we watched the Grease anniversary showing! (I may have completely mis-remembered this event!). I remember going to see the Blair Witch Project there as well...

But I do love going to the cinema and it used to be my bad habit when I lived with my parents. I went 3 or 4 times a week and would think nothing of going from a late shift and then to a midnight showing (obviously not if I was on the early the next day!).

I used to be so up to date with what was around and I still feel that loss of freedom quite keenly. I have to make so many arrangements just to go once a month now, it sucks :( 

Although, I have got a decent working DVD player again and can at least watch stuff in the evenings. I still get stuck with madam's choices after school though! I have vetoed certain films for a while now! We'll be finishing off the film version of the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe this afternoon. We went through the whole of the BBC TV adaption the other day and she wanted to compare! 

I have to say watching one straight after the other really does throw up the "Hollywoodisation" of the film. But I do still quite enjoy it. I have to pretend I don't know the books, but I can just about not throw things at it (unlike friend V!). I do wish someone would make the Magician's Nephew into a film though, I have a real love for that book...

Madam and I went on another nature walk at the weekend and found yet more mushrooms for her to look at. The best was a lilac/grey one we found in the beech wood near my parents. No idea what it was. We never dare pick or eat any just in case they are poisonous. I'd love to go out with an expert and do some proper foraging. I know that we see a lot of parasol mushrooms and as far as I'm aware you can eat those, but I still have that fear just in case we are wrong!

Sadly, I didn't take my phone out with me so didn't manage to get a photo of the lovely purple 'shroom, or any of the windmills we passed on the way home. There are three locally that are no longer in use, but there is a working one locally too (the picture at the top). We need to go back there again. I really want some locally produced flour :)

  

Labyrinthine Fun :)

Last night was the first ever We Watch Films Classic Movie Tuesday event. And it was one of my all-time favourite films, Labyrinth!

 

I managed to persuade a rather reluctant H (she had been scared by it as a child) that what she wanted to do with one of her precious days off was drive all the way to my house and go and watch a film she was wary of... Although, she didn't take lots of persuading, it has to be said!

 

She arrived on Monday afternoon. Earlier than I had thought she would, but that was even better. We got to surprise madam by having her auntie pick her up from school with mummy. Much more fun than normal!

 

We then got to spend the afternoon/some of the evening actually building the bed H would sleep in, but we did manage to do it pretty easily and with no swearing. Organising everything at the beginning probably helped that process... (H is an expert flat-pack builder, she should hire herself out!)

 

Yesterday, after dropping madam at school we went into town to get ourselves a mask each for the masquerade theme of the evening. Now, I hadn't *actually* mentioned that there was a theme. Or a fancy dress element. Or a competition... But we had decided on posh frocks and adding a mask is fairly harmless! And once we were there and had seen some of the other costumes, it seemed awfully tame!

 

Having bought plain masks we then had to decorate them. This was achieved with glittery mosaic stickers, gloopy glue and some glitter :) Crafty goodness on a Tuesday afternoon, nice :) Only, I don't have the gloopy glue, it lives at my parents house, so we dropped in on my dad for an hour and had fun doing sticking! Also, H got to admire his marine tank...

 

 

 

 

We picked madam up from school, got ready and went out almost as soon as my dad came through the door to babysit! This in itself was a surprise as I thought it would be mum, but who cares as long as someone supervises the 4yr old it's all good!

 

We were a bit early getting to the cinema, but there were a few people already there and we found Paul, who had organised the night, quite easily. He did appreciative admiring of our mask making and we all agreed the masks were much more annoying than we had anticipated! Mine was made worse by the fact I had to take my glasses off to wear it. I can see clearly for about 6 inches in front of my face without them. Excellent...

 

 

 

 

I gave up before we went into the cinema and had to put my glasses back on. But not before the official photographer had taken our photo! Before the film started there was the judging. And the top 6 costumes were called to the front. I was slightly sad that the guy who had dressed as one of the door knockers didn't make the line up.

 

We did an incredibly scientific cheering and clapping scoring system and the winner was deemed to be a young boy. This meant that the girl who had dressed as Sir Didymus got second place... But you can't win against a child! She was given free tickets to next months showing as a consolation... (But she was my favourite).

 

And so what is next months film? The big reveal was before the film started when we played the official trailer. And it was for Ghostbusters! A totally appropriate Halloween type film. H has vetoed it, so I might have to go to this one alone. But as the We Watch Films guys are like one big family, it wouldn't be too bad if I did. And I have always wanted to watch that on the big screen too! 

shop til you drop and never be boring

I decided to give myself a couple of days away from blogging as that last post kind of got a bit intense.

As it turned out I was so busy on Tuesday I wouldn't have had any time to even attempt to squeeze out a post. The reason? I shopped! And I really hit it, madam and I had a whole day in Hull so that I could go round everywhere I wanted.

 

I started by taking madam to the cinema for the kids showing in the morning. It was The Croods, which we have actually seen once before, but she'd loved it so going to see it was still a treat. We then had a slight bus fail in that the first stop we waited at was only served by buses in the evening (there was no signage at the stop, and I'd been told they were every 15 minutes).

 

So we had to walk over to the big Asda nearby and got on the first bus that came past. This bus was also a bad choice. We went around all the estates in that part of the city (Kingswood, Bransholme and Sutton Park) and then finally into the city centre.

 

By which point madam was ready to eat her own arm so we headed straight for lunch. We probably both ate twice as fast as normal! Never mind... So then I got to shop :) I went in the first shop and there was so much stuff I liked it was a bit hard to know where to start! I did steer myself away from the beautiful formal dress that had a butterfly wing print on it. But it was hard. I also stepped away from a cute owl print dress that I wasn't sure about the colour of.

 

But I did find a beautiful purple jersey dress that had only come in that morning. A couple of pairs of leggings as mine are all very tired. A pretty, dark blue top with a bird print. Then we moved on. I took madam into Princes Quay and promised her an ice cream from the shop she likes.

 

Sadly, their freezer was broken and they only had some mango sorbet, which madam didn't fancy... So she was dragged around the shop I wanted to go in in there with the promise that the very next thing we did would be find her that ice cream.

 

She amused herself by trying on some very large bras and rearranging their sale footrwear! I got a pair of slouch jeans that are ridiculously comfy and may be my favourite pair of jeans ever! They're not very smart though (obviously). And I picked up a set of bracelets that were in a half price basket by the till. They were prices at £12.50 but went through the till at £3! Bargain.

 

 

 

The only place I could think of that would definitely have ice cream that wasn't too much further was Thornton's. So we sat outside in the sunshine and at large and drippy cones :) It was good...

 

I then wandered along to New Look in the hope of finding another cheapo watch. But they didn't have any. Madam mainly tried on handbags and cuddled the legs of some of the mannequins! She's a bit odd, that one!

 

I took her into a memorabilia shop as I wanted to get her something wee for behaving so well for me. But it was all just that bit more than I wanted to pay, or inappropriate. Though she was really desperate for me to get her a Wonder Woman teddy thing. Too expensive, and she does *not* need any more teddies!

 

So we went to HMV to see if they had a cheap DVD she might like. And they did! She went and chose Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, without any influence from me. I found Willow so we got that as well :)

 

By which point we were exhausted and headed home for tea!

 

Yesterday, we went to the local Freeport in Hornsea (an outlet village) and got madam some shoes for school. And my dad bought us an ice cream (it's been a bit of an ice cream week!). I also got handed a bag and told I'd bought dad his Christmas present. Which was generous of me...

 

Today we went to a Teddy Bears Picnic at the Country Park. We were lucky that the weather held out for us this week, as last week's Butterfly Safari had been a washout. Madam did some painting and she had her face painted. She insisted she needed to be a purple cat. With pink details. She didn't want to be boring...

 

 

 

There is never any fear of that with madam around! We ate our picnic whilst watching the puppet show and then because we were both quite hot and weary by this point (there wasn't very much shade where we were) we decided to pack up and head back to my parents to give the car back. We did force ourselves to have an ice cream to cool us down on the walk back to the car though...

 

So, what have you been up to?

 



a film that left a big impression

Isn't it fun getting stuff through the post :) My shoes that mother cajoled me into buying have arrived... They're fab, comfy and actually a really great colour (I was a bit worried about the pewter). I have not had a chance to wear them yet though, as I have been to the gym for an introduction/look-see kind of thing.

 

 

 

I have now signed up though, so my proper induction is next Tuesday (it better not be too hot!) It's a Gymophobics gym and promises me I only have to do a 30 min workout 3 times a week. Also, I have a voucher for a massively discounted sign up/first month payment! I owe it to myself to find time to go. It's right in the centre of town, so there is no trekking to the leisure centre annoyingness. I can fit it into my day a lot easier.

 

I don't dislike going to the gym, per se, but the cardio workouts never seem to make much difference and this is more about resistance/toning. This is what my big, flabby belly needs! I walk everywhere as it is, so I get a cardio workout everyday! Mum has been a member for a little while now and has lost nearly 3 stone and dropped about 3 dress sizes as well. She's feeling much fitter, healthier and happier with herself.

 

Which I would like to feel about myself too!

 

My dad and I have gone into manic planning mode to get ready for our trip to Driffield show on Wednesday. He and I are definite planners, though he is more inclined to actually follow through on his plans than I am! I like to know there is a plan I can fall back on, but am more able to go with the flow than he is!

 

We are driving my mum insane by planning out what sandwiches we'll need, drinks, picnic rugs etc. You'd think she'd be used to us by now... It's funny that it's me the manic planning rubbed off on, as I am the queen of procrastination and almost never follow my plans exactly. I am terrible at organisation because of this. Though being able to organise a small child is definitely an achievement in itself!

 

Last night I watched a film called Hugo. It's based on the novel The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznik. And I loved it. I am a real film fan and love the escapism that films bring me. And this film was actually about that in part. It's a fact based film, in that one of the main characters and his backstory etc. is true to life. The rest of the film is imagined around him.

 

It tells the story of a lonely little orphaned boy named Hugo Cabret (that's a surprise, right!) who lives within the walls of the train station in Paris. He is looking to repair a machine as he believes it contains a message from his dead father and that search brings him into contact with a gentleman named Georges Melies (this is the real dude).

 

He, along with Georges' goddaughter find out who Georges used to be and how he has ended up owning a toy booth at a train station. They help him to find his way back and in the process Hugo finds friends and eventually a family. It was an amazingly moving film. I always find films about loneliness hard to watch without crying. But this was so beautiful. It's a Scorsese film, but not like anything he has ever made before.

 

And all the way through the film is punctuated by these wonderful clips from very early films. And they are so incredible and the imagery is so impressive. Its a love story to them in a way as well. The eventual revelation was again based on real life. Georges Melies really was discovered working in a toy booth at the train station. He really was one of the pioneers of early cinema. You may never have heard of him (I certainly hadn't) but you will know one of his most iconic images...

 

 

 

 

And if you can't see that link, you will have to make do with just this picture which is from hungary.art.pl

 

 

 

 

And if you still don't know who I'm banging on about, check him out on YouTube. His films are wonderful...

how a book can consume me

 

 

Saturday was mainly taken up with me having my nose stuck in a book. Well, reading a Kindle, but it doesn't have quite the same ring to it somehow. The outcome is the same though. I ended up doing very little else and just becoming absorbed in the other world I was reading about.

 

Now, fortunately, madam was out most of the afternoon with the kids that live down the street from my mum and dad. Which absolved me from parenting duties, which was lovely given how little time off I've had since M&D went on holiday.

 

So, whilst madam was out I watched Superman 2 and read my book. I was right, I do remember that one being a favourite from childhood. I still wish I was Lois Lane, though perhaps without getting into quite so many ridiculous situations... I mean who hasn't ended up trapped under the Eiffel tower lift whilst psychotic terrorists plot death and destruction?

 

Amusingly, whilst watching that scene, all I could think about was the fact she was lying on her boobs and just how much that would have hurt if it were me... There's always something that brings you back to reality!

 

Having finished watching Superman 2 I was just debating what I might do next when madam burst back in the front door sobbing her eyes out. Tragedy! Her friends were going to the park but there was no room in the car for her. So, being a good mummy, I told her we could walk round to the local park for a bit and play.

 

I shoved my Kindle in my pocket and we headed for the park. I parked myself on a bench and shoved my face back in my book. Madam, being madam, had joined in with a group of kids within moments and she was fair away with herself. She did fall off the zip wire at one point which provoked a few tears, but a hug and promise of an ice lolly solved that pretty quickly.

 

She's made of tough stuff, that one! She then found a group of older kids to hang out with. It was quite funny watching the pre-teens play with her. They were obviously thinking what to do with her, and then she just ran circles around them (quite literally at some points)!

 

I eventually managed to persuade her to leave the big boys and girls alone and come home for her tea (and the ice lolly I promised her). We got home to find Coraline was on and so watched that until it was finished and I read some more of my book.

 

After I managed to force madam into her bed I came back downstairs and completely reabsorbed myself. So much so the film I'd put on completely passed me by! I switched it off when it was finished and read to the end of the book before bed.

 

I'm not exactly a speed reader, but I find reading from the Kindle surprisingly easy. The one thing I don't like is the fact that I don't have a backlit screen, that would make it so much better in poor lighting and if I wanted to read in bed etc...

 

Now, I'm going to guess that some of you might be wondering what this book that absorbed all my attention was. It's called Return to Eden and it's by G.P. Ching. It's actually book 3 in the Soulkeepers series. And there is one more to read. Well, after I download it.

 

 

 

The books centre round a character called Jacob and how he learns of his powers and then how he uses them to fight off evil. There is really a central group of six core characters, but it all starts from Jacob. He discovers he has the power to manipulate water and can form it into shapes to use as weapons against evil. He also can call water to him to help heal his girlfriend whose skin burns as she uses her powers.

 

I'm really not selling this book very well, I might write a proper review for you all another day. Suffice to say I would recommend the series to anyone who was interested in fantasy books.

 

But right now I have to go and deal with the cat who seems to have taken up residency in my parents house!  

 



Fish are friends, not food

it's Miffy's birthday today!

 

 

Superman was just as good as I remembered! I do love that film. I had forgotten some of the slightly cheesier moments (blocked them out?) though. I think the height of cheese is Lois's voiceover whilst Superman takes her flying.

 

I mentioned I had a crush on Christopher Reeve as a child, and apparently this is still ongoing! Phwoar! I have to say when he gave his statistics to Lois it meant more to me than as a 5yr old...

 

Madam was leaping about doing not sleeping (ostensibly because she was worried about the fishes) and ended up watching the first half before she finally gave in to exhaustion and went to sleep on the sofa. I did debate going straight onto number 2 but thought that might be a very late night for me!

 

I seem to vaguely remember preferring Superman 2 as a child, but again, it's so long since I watched them...

 

So, fishtank update now. It's still not a happy tank. The pump is still working but we seem to have lost more fish overnight. And the water is still murky. It's a relief not to have found them all dead though.

 

I have no idea how long the pump would need to have been off for the situation to get so bad.

 

And tonight is Friday, which means it's a Guide night. With madam in tow... I am hoping we might have a better number of them than last week. I'm debating taking some photos of our activities to post on our twitter feed. But I would have to get parental permissions etc... Stress.

 

On the plus side, we sort of have a ready made activity this week as after much consultation Girlguiding UK have decided to change the promise. So we get to introduce it to them. I shall make attempts at ways to do so...

 

I'm guessing crafts will be out though, whatever we do! I'm also hoping that the weather will improve so we can do a bit of outside stuff. I like getting them to go outside, makes for more fun usually.

 

I shall also remember to buy a return on the bus this week!   

Superman and tropical fish

I got myself a treat today :) I found the boxset of Superman films in Morrison's for a tenner... So that's £2 a film, genius... The main reason I got these, other than my childhood crush on Christopher Reeve, is because of a twitter discussion about them.

 

 

 

I remember loving the films as a kid, I remember that we always watched them when they were on TV. But I don't remember all of them. And I haven't seen the reboot they did a few years ago at all.

 

I'm excited to have a movie marathon with them and also know that madam will be able to watch it to. I think I might have to just watch them by myself first though. Bit like with Harry Potter when I watched all of those last week. I knew madam was ok with the first two but on re-watching them I know that she still would be afraid of all of the others...

 

I started writing this post much earlier today and then, whilst typing I happened to look up and noticed that the fish in my dad's tropical tank were acting strangely. They were all at the top of the tank and looked to be struggling to breathe.

 

Also the water looked sort of green-ish. Panic set in. I have spent most of the time that I've been looking after these fish I've been panicking about the marine tank. Which is fine. But the tropical suddenly drastically not so.

 

I took to twitter in the vain hope there would be someone there that might help. And I was in luck. Lovely friend talked me down and gave me tips as to what I could do. I also rang my brother as although he was too far away to come around he did at least keep his own fish up until his move.

 

I had noticed that the water in the tank didn't seem to be moving, and had no idea how to fix it as everything seemed to be switched on. Bro suggested that the pump had gone if the water wasn't moving and remembered where my dad kept a spare (see, that's what siblings are for). I managed to remove the old one and replace it so that the water started flowing again.

 

Sadly, some of the fish haven't survived this experience. Including my dad's beloved gold nugget plecostomus. But having managed to prevent the entire tank from dying off I think he'll be okay with it. On a plus point, one of the fish my dad has been waiting to keel over now has! 

 

I'm not sure what it's called, but it's big and stripy and kept eating some of his smaller fish. I think it was supposed to be in  there to eat snails...

 

Anyway, if I'm going to get the first Superman under my belt this evening I better get on with it!

the end of an era (sort of)

This has nothing to do with the blog. I just think it looks pretty!

 

 

I am at a bit of loss now. I have finally handed in the last of my college work and now that's it. It's over. I went in today as the external moderator was coming in to, well, moderate and they'd asked if some of us could come in and have a chat with her.

 

I was the only one from our level 2 group who made it in (which is laughable given how much extra help I've had) and there were 3 from the level 3 group. The moderator was nearly an hour late getting there as she'd been caught up in road works (good job I had nowhere else to be) but it did mean that I got an hour to chat to the other guys.

 

It was really nice to be able to have a laugh with them and they seemed like they would have been good to work with. They still have a couple of weeks left and it was nice to know that two of them were just as disorganised as me. I do feel sorry for the tutor, all these hopeless students to deal with.

 

I do miss our little group and how well we'd all bonded by the end of the course. As part of our ending project we'd all given each other some feedback and some of the positive comments were so nice to hear. It seems strange not to see them every week now.

 

Whilst talking to the level 3s I asked them how many were going on to do the next level and it turned out the majority of them were. They all tried to persuade me to do the level 3 in September, but I explained that it's just not on the cards for me at the moment.

 

I have really enjoyed all that we've learned about and I am really keen to learn more and study the area further. But given the amount of extra support I ended up needing I don't think I'm ready for that yet. And as I said to the tutor it would probably involve weekly tutorials to get me through it. Neither of us fancy that!

 

I have a feeling giving myself some time away and maybe finding myself a job to help me build some of my confidence up again would be the most helpful path. Also, I don't have a spare £450 to spend at this point!

 

But the question is what do I do to keep my brain ticking over now? Do I look at doing some form of e-learning course? And if I do, what do I do it on/in? It would be really good to do some sort of film studies course as I've always been interested in films and I do spend half my life watching them!

 

Maybe I could do it myself, watch a film and share it with the group as it were. An online film club of sorts. I could write a blog post on it and we could have discussion through the comments. This does rely on people interacting with the blog though. And not everyone likes doing that.

 

I have a few blogger friends who post book reviews and they get requests and all sorts. I could do that too, but I think I would be in a rather saturated market. And again an online book club would be hard to sustain through the blog.

 

Maybe I could just post about psychological theories as I read more around and about them. But I may lose my lovely readers whilst I indulge myself in that way. I do already spend a lot of time crafting so maybe I should focus on something to do with that.

 

Maybe I should try learning a new craft. Or perhaps I should go back to sketching. I really did used to enjoy whiling away the hours drawing endless pictures. But I tend to doodle now and I may have become rubbish. Practice makes perfect though and I guess I need to try it and find out.

 

Oh, whilst I was at college I added some more blog posts to my portfolio and one of them was the one about how college goes with depression. I asked the tutor to read it as it has my description of how depression feels to me. And she did that thing she is so remarkably good at. She asked me a question that made me think.

 

Her question was: if you're at the top of a tree, what is it that you can see?

 

Now I feel like I am in darkness a lot of the time, but there must have been a reason I climbed up in the first place. What was I looking for that I climbed so high?

 

I shall have to have a really good think on it and get back to you!  

needed: a different life

Here we are, home in Yorkshire again. And, as it always does, my heart smiled to see the familiar sights and faces. But I do feel, more than I ever have before, that I've left a little bit of my heart down there in Bristol... I do wish I could move down there and make a fresh start in my life.

 

But then I'd just be running away and hiding again. I'd still have all the same things to deal with that I struggle with now. Only with out the backing of my parents, and boy, do they do a lot of backing up still. They buy my groceries for me every week, now how I'd cope without that input, I don't know, because we never seem to have enough money for everything.

 

And I spend time paying one thing to stave off disaster but using just a bit of the money I needed for X or Y and then when I have to pay X or Y I need to borrow a little bit from Z... It's never ending and I don't seem capable of getting myself out of that loop. 

 

For example, my housing benefit doesn't cover the whole of my rent, it leaves me just over £100 short, so obviously that money has to come out of my benefits. I'm meant to pay rent on the 1st of the month, but I'm almost always waiting for some money to come in to top it up to £450... this is because although I have two benefit, a child benefit and 4 child tax credit payments in that month I have always lost some to the rent the previous month and am playing catch up the whole month!

 

For the most part I use my tax credits as our weekly housekeeping and everything else goes to bills/debts etc. But then madam will need something or we'll rebel and treat ourselves to something. Or, more often than not, something will break (be broken). I'll need to pay an extra bill for something I'd forgotten..

 

Or boring things like, peoples birthdays, come up. Christmas, Easter, school holidays they all cost. I hate school holidays, I seem to spend money like water no matter how careful I'm trying to be!

 

Yeah, so my money is always going to be stretched to breaking point. But if I have to do boring things like pay for my own food I'd be in major trouble... 

 

But I do still want to try living in Bristol for a while, I'm just going to have to be smart about it and ensure I have things like a job and somewhere to live in place before making a run for the hills (as it were). This may mean I don't make it down there for some time yet, but I will. One day.

 

We arrived home last night to a slight electrical tragedy. In that we had none. And apparently hadn't for more than 24hrs judging from the stink in the fridge! Not great... I had topped the meters before going away but apparently not by enough! I have today had to throw a freezers worth of stuff in the bin. Along with a few disgusting things from the fridge that I probably could have found new lifeforms on!

 

And I thought about what my life has come to. I think I am at bottom, because other than being actually homeless there isn't much further to fall. I deliberately sat and watched a weepy film last night as I needed to have a release from all the unspoken emotions I've been holding on to whilst with himself.

 

I realised I'd done that terrible thing of telling my daughter why her father was a tw*t (no, no I didn't say that exactly). But I have been encouraging her to see that he doesn't treat her the way she deserves. I think that was most brought home to me by the fact there was a poor chap who ended up sitting next to her on the way home yesterday. Now this lovely guy spent an hour and a half chatting with her and keeping her amused. Without being asked, without complaining about it. 

 

See, nice people still exist, I feel you find them more easily with kids around. But I know that K would have spent 10mins and then started getting annoyed with her. Nevermind a full 5hr journey. Now, don't get me wrong, I can't put up with her for 5hrs on a train either. I was *very* glad that this nice man arrived to distract her for a bit.

 

But on the way down, when it was just me and her, and the train was even more crowded, we managed. I might have shouted a little, she may have sulked a little. But it was ok. If K had done it, there would have been hell on. He can't even drive us anywhere with out losing his temper with her at some point.

 

So glad he doesn't do it full time. 

 

It boggles really, he's so good with her when he wants to be. But therein lies the issue. When *he* wants to. Not her. He cannot put others first, he's all about the money and the power and the what does he get out of it. If you're what he wants he's an overwhelming personality. So sweet and funny and kind and caring. Once you're off his radar you might as well have moved to China.

 

He made madam and I feel like possessions, toys even, this last week. There for him to pick up and play with when it suited him, but not interesting enough to put effort into. Madam said to me "My daddy took me to the cinema" when I asked what exactly he'd done whilst we'd been there. And I said "No, I think you'll find your daddy dropped us at the cinema and then left. Bit like when he dropped us at the hairdressers and didn't come back when he said he would" "Oh, yeah. My daddys a bit rubbish, isn't he mummy?"

 

"Yes, darling. He is."

 

Sadly, I don't think I'm going to be spending that long down in Bristol again. I'm not putting madam through that again. When he only gets her for a weekend, he makes time for her much more. So that's what it'll have to be. 

 

I've forgotten to bring my phone out with me, so I have no new pictures to add today... I'll have to find an old one for you instead!

 

    

Things to do in Bristol in the rain

Yesterday it rained. And rained. And then, as if we weren't already wet and miserable, it rained some more.

 

I took the kids to Playspace in the morning and it was an epic endeavour. First of all, because I've only been once and that was 3 years ago, I took a wrong turn. And friend L's little boy didn't remember the way either. So I think we took the longest possible walk to get there.

 

And when we did we had a 15 minute wait just to be allowed in! I was fed up before we even got in there! We stayed about an hour and madam managed to get stuck at the top of the playframe! And as the only place I'd been able to sit was in a side room I hadn't seen and the poor thing had been shouting for me :(

 

One of the people who worked there helped her down and brought her some ice for her ankle. We went back to L's for lunch and then at about 3 headed back to K's to give her some peace and quiet so she could relax and get her head together.

 

Madam insisted that K took us out for tea and we headed for an Italian in the centre of Bristol. She insisted on wearing the very sweet dress that she'd been handed down from friend E. Whilst we were waiting for our food I was trying to get a nice smiley picture of madam, but she refused.

 

 

 

Instead she insisted on doing her best impression of one of the minions from Despicable Me. I later took that photo and did some editing on it with my PicsArt app, and I really like the results.

 

 

 

Sadly the poorly cough she's been working on for the last couple of days has really taken hold now and I fed her full of various remedies before bed. She seems to be less yucky snotty now at least though...

 

Today we went to the cinema to watch Wreck It Ralph which I've (sorry she's) been wanting to see since it came out. We then went to have completely unhealthy KFC for lunch and I let her go to the Build-A-Bear workshop this afternoon. We now have a pink teddy with hearts on her paws and inside her ears. She's called Lovely, apparently!

 

So now we're heading home again. Friend L has just text me to tell me the babies are here! I shall hopefully be getting to meet them asap!