6 February 2013

I survived

Yesterday in my post I explained how nervous I was feeling about the meetings I had to get through, so I figured you may need a progress report.
 
Short story. I was indeed making mountains of molehills. I dropped off the stuff I had to at the CAB and went and had lunch with my dad. He cheered me up no end when he told me he'd ordered me the glow-in-the-dark wellies I'd fallen in love with the other day. Dads are great sometimes, well, mine is!
 
And then I went to see my counsellor. We had a nice long chat about the stuff I had achieved since our last meeting and then talked about the things I'd been putting in my own way that stopped me from doing all of it. I told her just how in love I am with the flylady website and how, even in the very short time I've actually been doing it, I've started to feel like I've gained some control.
My counsellor is now going to go away and check out the site for herself to get some de-cluttering tips. She did tell me that I was counselling myself really but as I have been prescribed the sessions we might as well keep going. I do think that having someone who can break down what I'm talking about and help me analyse my feelings is really helpful though.
 
For the first time I actually talked to someone about how miserable I'd been in the first year at sixth form. How I keep a distance from people even within a group. 
I even began analysing why I don't throw things away. I was wondering why I keep things of no value, why I can't just get rid of everything, why I feel attached to it.
It worries me that if we value ourselves by our possesions and I keep things that are worthless, what am I saying about myself? I already had made the connection that I spend all the time talking about madam so that I don't talk about me. 
My college tutor asked me if I wasn't important enough to be worth the time and I was genuinely stuck for an answer. I know that I am just as important, but I don't want the attention on me as I'm unhappy with myself.
 
Ok, enough with my introspection and whining about myself. I'm going to finish with a positive as I'm trying to keep that promise to myself of telling myself good things. 
 
So here we go. 
 
I taught someone to crochet yesterday. I was patient, calm and clear. I have passed on a skill that makes me happy. I gave someone the gift of a new hobby. This is a good thing about me. 
 
What's a good thing about you?   

3 comments:

Vita Obscura said...

Currently, my pride in a friend who is making such amazing progress it makes me want to cry :D

watermemory said...

Vita, how beautifully said. You are kicking so much arse, Ms, you really are. (It's midweshterner from Twitter here btw)

Procrastinator General said...

Aww, thanks you two. You're encouragements and kind words make it easier for me to carry on :)