Lifestyle - School Days

I have started my new job and it's going really well. There has been a slow start for us whilst we have got everyone up to speed on what's going on. The new school building is still being built and will hopefully be ready for us to move into in the New Year.

Week one at work was taken up with lots of training activities. I have done restraint training, positive discipline, lesson planning, safeguarding and something else that I have forgotten the name of! We also spent time trying to make our temporary accommodation look like an actual functioning school. The building used to be a behavioural unit so was sort of set up how we needed it, but they had just ripped out a whole load of the fittings and we needed to cover some rather large holes in the walls!

This week (week 2) has seen the students slowly starting to arrive. One year group at a time. Year 8s on Monday, 9s on Tuesday, 11s on Wednesday and 10s on Friday. The reaon the 11s came in before the 10s is because they go on placement for Thursdays and Fridays. This means that tomorrow (Monday) will be the first day we have all four year groups in at once. 

This could prove interesting, that's for sure. The break times are set up so there are only two year groups mixed together at any one time and they are not consecutive years so they hopefully won't fight too much... We've only got the four years as we're in too small a building to fit any more. 

My group of year 10s is made up entirely of boys and there is another all boy group as well as an all girl mixed group of 9s and 10s. (Confusing, I know). I have 6 in my group and the others have 7 each. We are what is known as an Alternative Provision Academy (APA) and are the largest in the country with roughly 60 students. This is not full sized. We will have 150 altogether at the new site and will range in age from year 6 (10-11yr olds) to the year 11s (15-16). 

So far, my lads have been very sweary and pretty offensively racist but have behaved themselves and got on with all their work. They are in  school setting so they are working towards their GCSE exams although the government only asks us to give them English and Maths we feel that they need more than that to become valuable members of society.

In the new build there will be provision for lots of vocational work including a hair and beauty studio, joinery, mechanics bay and various other job specific areas. They will all be taught to drive a forklift before they leave school as well (!)

Yes, this is a bit of a promo piece about my new school, but I'm really proud of what we're trying to achieve with these kids that society has already pegged as no hopers (one of the lads in my class is very bright, just hates school). I hope that in my role as their tutor (they're counted as my class) I'm going to be able to help them at least start to believe there is a future for themselves and they won't just be another generation of kids who grow up on an estate, get into trouble and go to prison. 

The schools official website is aspirehull.com check it out and see what you think.

Love, Pearl. 

  

Lifestyle - Having a job is just the beginning

You may have wondered where I've been and I don't blame you. Turns out I don't particularly like blogging from my tablet after all. I'm hoping once I get paid I'll be able to get my laptop screen fixed (finally) and then I may be able to get back to some kind of regular blogging schedule.

Until then, sporadic is the name of the game. I've mainly been getting ready for starting work and also supervising madam as she enjoys her free time.

In the last few weeks I've gone from being worried I would never find a job again to being gainfully employed and needing to get everything together for my start date of September 1st. The most important part of that (no, not shoes) is transport. 

My dad, being an amazing human, agreed to forward me the money for a car and a years worth of insurance which I will then (slowly) pay him back. 

I decided that I really wanted something similar to the hire car I had whilst my parents were on holiday. That was a (top of the range) Toyota Aygo. Now, I'm not thick, I knew top of the range was out. But a lower spec version of the same was definitely an option. It turns out there are three different manufacturers who make identical cars. The cheapest to buy secondhand was the Peugot 107. And on my budget I could afford one about three years old. 

This then meant hours of trawling the internet to narrow down which ones we were going to go and have a look at. Madam pinned her heart to a bright yellow one early on and I discovered they made purple ones... 

We went to a local a dealership which had a few in stock (including a purple one!) Sadly, turns out the purple was way over my budget (like, £1500 over) and after looking at the other three in stock we settled for a red one with a low mileage. 

So my new baby, who has been named Peggy, was all sorted out. Next was making myself look slightly less like a wild woman and more like the professional I'm pretending to be. 

Mum very kindly agreed to pay for me to have a decent haircut and I now look much more sleek and much more like my old self again. On my travels I have also had to sort out before and after school care for madam (she's going to a place with its own farm. A farm!) and I've also been on holiday with my Guides. It's been a busy ol' summer, so far! 

What have you been up to then? 

Love, Pearl. 

Lifestyle - A New Beginning

I have an announcement!

*clears throat*

I HAVE A JOB!!!!!!!

My volunteering has paid off and I finally managed a right place/right time ultimate combo. The main selling point? My degree. Yup, the one I have always been slightly unhappy about. 

Don't get me wrong, I loved doing it and I wouldn't swap those experiences for anything. But I have never used it. I was all for going into Heritage Management after qualifying but then realised the route into the industry is fraught with broken dreams and living like a pauper for more years than I was willing to. 

So I did what most people do in that situation. Put my dreams on hold until there was a "right time" and got a proper job. I then spent numerous years working in a restaurant and dreaming of escape. I focused on education as I'd always thought I might like to teach. I applied for a couple of graduate schemes to become a French teacher but always fell down at the final hurdle. 

I retrained (whilst still working at the restaurant) and got myself a CELTA. Which is a foundation level qualification and the basic minimum for a job teaching English as a foreign language. 

I lived in Greece for a bit, came home, got married, ended up back at the restaurant again because I needed a job. Escape was so hard when there were bills to be paid. I dreamed some more, but just couldn't wiggle free. I spent a summer teaching English in the week and full-time in the restaurant at weekends (clocking up 70hr weeks in the process). 

I got pregnant and it was then I saw my chance. I *couldn't* go back to the restaurant. It just didn't fit around my childcare needs. But then they closed my restaurant whilst I was on maternity leave and I managed to get a payout for leaving a job I'd had no intention of returning to. Bonus. 

And then, to quote a well known TV theme tune 'my life got flipped, turned upside down'. I ended up a single parent and have battled with my own mental health for a few years. Last October my daughter turned five and the government insisted I look for a job. Now, I had been planning for this moment for a while and had tried to make myself more employable.

I started this blog because I was doing a counselling skills course and realised how depressed I was and how much I needed an outlet. That course was supposed to lead me to a job last summer, before the Jobcentre would ever need to be involved, but sadly it didn't. All the jobs I'd seen the year before that needed that qualification were not advertised. Bugger. 

I, therefore, dutifully signed on in the October to get my Jobseekers Allowance (JSA) and started the long, slow process of regaining employment.

I discovered the amount of skills I have puts a lot of employers off. And the government's insistence on focussing on the young unemployed by creating endless schemes to help them into jobs (which is great if you're 16-24) means employers have created millions of apprenticeships where there used to be entry level positions. 

Not so great if you're 36 and looking for a job. Any job, but don't have industry specific skills. I was a manager in a restaurant I can do admin. Possibly with my eyes closed. Have I had one single response to any of those applications? Nope. 

And then a teeny, tiny light in the dark. I found a secondary school (my preferred age range) that wanted volunteer Teaching Assistants. Perfect! I emailed over my application and a mere half an hour later they rang to offer me an interview! 

I finally started at the beginning of the summer term doing Wednesdays and Thursdays with the year 7 nurture group. I have genuinely enjoyed all of it. Even those days where I've (briefly) wished I was allowed to throttle them. And then at the end of June an advert appeared on their website. 

I, obviously, jumped at the chance. Made sure it was the best application I could do. Handed it in. Waited.

Is there anything worse than waiting?

I got so nervous one of the other TAs marched me up to the HR office so I could ask if the shortlist was ready. It was. And I was on it. Twice! 

Unbeknownst to me there were jobs going in three different areas. The Academy itself, the Intervention team (this has nothing to do with sitting your friend down and telling them you're concerned with their drug/alcohol use) and finally the Aspire project. 

Aspire is a free school that is opening in Hull in September. It is based around the Academy's Christian ethos that all students deserve to be taught. Even the ones who have been excluded from their own schools. It is taking pupils from all over the city with behavioural issues that have seen them excluded or at risk of exclusion from year 6 and up (that's 10/11yr olds up to 18yr olds.) 

And, here's the important bit, they will *all* be studying Leisure and Tourism. My degree subject! After so long with *no-one* caring about my degree having an interview panel (a member of each of those 3 different areas) all be excited by my degree. And that I carried my French up to my second degree year. And that I have counselling skills was a little pleasing, it has to be said. 

And then yesterday I got the phone call I had been praying for. I've been taken on to work at Aspire. I can't tell you just how exciting this is for me. I'm so proud of myself for not letting my anxieties stop me from pursuing something I *knew* I could be good at. And because I'll be at Aspire the chances of career progression are slightly higher. 

Moving in to teaching L&T could be a real prospect. And I'm not even scared by the idea any more. Plus, if I can make it through at least 2 years at Aspire, I think I could probably work anywhere! 

I have spent the last two weeks saying "if I get this job..." and planning so many nice things. First up, a holiday for madam and I. Not until next summer. But an actual holiday! My mum and dad have promised to finance a car for me. And I have been browsing dinky, just for madam and I, cars on auto trader. 

And finally, I've been work wear planning :) I have created a Pinterest board which you can have a look at if you fancy... 

I am crazy happy at the moment and just want to thank everyone for being so supportive (and enthusive) whilst I've been going through this process. 

As an aside, it is almost exactly six years since I went on maternity leave. I would never have imagined everything that has happened since then. But I am so ready for a change! 

Love, Pearl.

Lifestyle - I've been so busy...

Hello there, my lovelies. No, I haven't forgotten I run a blog. Yes, I have been too busy to keep you all up to date. I am really sorry for neglecting you. The lack of home internet access has really scuppered me in the last few weeks as I haven't been able to fit blogging in. 

What I have been doing is working. I am still volunteering at the Academy in Hull and have just submitted an application form for a paid position. I have also been assigned some volunteering work by the Jobcentre. Fun. 

This handsome chap was at the park we went to last week.

Its not as bad as I make that sound as it is with a children's charity that run various drop in sessions within the community. I'll be able to keep going through the summer holidays too, which will at least keep me busy. Best of all, madam can come with me. 

I have been busily daydreaming about life if I get this job I have applied for. I have looked into what car I might get and even where I might take madam on holiday next summer! I did toy with the idea of moving closer to work so I could avoid the need for a car, but I think I run the risk of making myself feel isolated and ill again. 

I have thought about what of the many broken things I have I will replace first (my bed, I *need* better sleep). And I've started to ponder a frivolous thing as a treat to myself. Sadly, I don't even know if I have an interview yet so I think I best calm myself down a bit. But I would relish having my freedom back. 

Job seeking is so all encompassing and I'm bound (perfectly reasonably) by certain conditions that there is very little flexibility available. I'm not even supposed to stay somewhere overnight without letting the DWP know... (that one I think is a bit ridiculous). 

But as you can see, I can't just do things on a whim, really, at the moment. Even if I did have any money. I am also massively excited about the increase in cash flow that a job will bring. I have lived on benefits since madam was born and whilst I am so grateful and fortunate to live in a country that has a social welfare system in place. I can't say its a luxurious lifestyle, but its enough to live on. 

I will let you know if I get an interview and you can talk me down from the ledge when I panic... And I will get some home internet as soon as I can! ;-) 

Love, Pearl.

Lifestyle - Work and Learning

I have finally started my voluntary job at Archbishop Sentamu academy in Hull and I'm loving it. It's so nice to feel like I'm actually doing something useful with my time.

Work ready!

I've been with both the year 8 and 7 nurture groups which are classes where the students need extra support than a mainstream class. This involves both some challenging behaviours as well as some vulnerable students. 

I was forewarned that I might be exposed to everything possible within the course of my days with these students, and they weren't kidding! Day one with the year 8s which involved a lot of belligerence and noise was a walk in the park compared to day two with the year 7s. 

But, I loved it. I felt like I actually helped some of the students to perform much better than they may have otherwise and it was nice to have them come to me for help when they needed it. 

I think I did use the phrase "can you be quiet, please" more in one hour than I have ever thought would be necessary, but these are kids who exemplify the acting out when bored mould. They also can't sit still and wandered around the classroom all the time!

What worries me is that some of these behaviours are exactly the same as madam's and I am now having visions of her being in a class like that when she's older! Some of the students in there were quite obviously very intelligent, one of the year 8s in particular really sticks out in my mind, but so incapable of self control... 

So my mummy brain has kicked into overdrive and I'm now plotting ways in which I can help madam to fit into the box they expect her to, without squishing her personality. I may be on an uphill battle here, school has already taken note of her inabilities. I don't want her put in the naughty kid box, because she is not and she is capable of so much. She just is not a typical sitting at a desk learner. 

Having done some work on learning styles I'm beginning to draw the conclusion my child learns better when she is moving. She HAS to be able to stand up and dance when watching anything, she still puts everything in her mouth to discover it fully. She can sit at a task if it really engages her, for example she's really good at drawing, but she needs a period of doing something afterwards before she can move on to the next task. 

Schools are not set up like that though. They put everyone in the auditory learner box, which works very well for me, but is definitely not for everyone. Hands up all the people who use video tutorials on YouTube all the time. They quite often confuse me... I like written instructions, not picture instructions (IKEA, I'm looking at you!) but real words. Or you can read something to me and I will follow that happily.

Madam can't really do either, partly because the kid is 5, but because she needs to take part to learn. How will school be able to help her? (Did I mention I'm in panicky mummy mode.)

I'm hoping as she ages and matures she may learn to process things in her own way so that she can fully participate at school. Next year when she goes into a proper sitting in front of a desk style learning environment is going to be a struggle, I can tell.

Do you think it's worth me speaking to the teacher about this? Surely if I as someone with very little knowledge of teaching know about learning styles, she must. Then maybe we could develop a technique to help her. 

OK, need to stop myself before I go into full on anxiety mode. She is 5, she is doing OK. She has all the advantages of a good school and loving family to help her. She's going to get through. And school is only a short time of her life to get past. 

Let's look to the good things. Madam is starting athletics after school tomorrow so hopefully she can burn off some of that abundant energy she is blessed with. And Rainbows is on Thursdays. First week was last week and it went really well (hence the silly picture!) 

She is now keen for me to get her the full uniform. She'll have to wait a couple of weeks, I think!  

Lifestyle - Shoes for girl's with big feet

I have got some new shoes. They are black and shiny and I got them for when I start my teaching job. A girl has to pretend to be respectable sometimes. I love them as they are brogues and I have wanted some since I was a little girl, probably because my Dad always has a pair. 

They're from Clark's as I had to go back and swap madam's new school shoes as they'd broken. I was so surprised that any shoes from Clark's could break! They were lovely and swapped them for a whole pair no questions asked. I knew they would be easy to deal with which made me more confident about taking them back. 

I always buy madam's shoes from the local Clark's outlet because I'm not fussed about her having the latest style (they're school shoes, after all) and they're always at least a tenner cheaper then in the shops. When you're onto pair number three since September, this is important!

Anyway, back to *my* shoes. I had mentioned that I could do with looking for some work shoes whilst we were on our mission for madam as I thought turning up in trainers would probably be frowned on. I have some black, cheapo things from Tesco, but they're not *that* comfy and if I'm going to be on my feet all day, then I want comfy feet!

My mum and I hunted through all the available women's flat shoes in my size. I'm a 41 and a wide fit, I use the European size because until about 10 years ago that was always a size 7 and then suddenly it was sometimes an 8, which is usually the biggest size shops do. 

This is a pain if you used to be an 8 or, if like me, you wear a slightly bigger size to fit your big, wide feet in more comfortably! Clark's does do a wide fit, and there were a couple of styles in the 8 I liked. But all of them were just slightly too tight somewhere. 

At that point I thought I should check the men's shoes. They're usually a wider fit to begin with, and go to bigger sizes (obviously). I tried on a pair of size 8's and realised they were too big. On inspection, men's size 7 are still European 41! Why?? So annoying...

So, I looked at the size sevens and fell in love with the brogues but put them back because of the price. Even at the outlet and with £35 off the original price they were really quite expensive. I found another pair of plainer, Oxford shoes and was going to settle for those.

In steps my Dad. He looked at me and said, "which ones do you *really* want". 

"Ummm, I rather love the Brogues, but they're too expensive."

"But I'd rather you have the ones you like, they're going to be on your feet a lot."

I showed my dad the price of the Brogues. He made his *ouch* face. He took them over to the pay point. He then insisted my mum get the zebra print boots she'd fallen in love with too!

My dad is the best.

I have been wearing them in. They're proper leather and have rather shocked my feet by being properly enclosed and supported for the first time in ages!

So, here are my lovely shoes, all £54.99 worth. 

That might not be a lot in the grand scheme of shoes, but it's way out of my budget! And they're soooo lovely. And yes, they are on top of my wheelie bin, I needed proper light to take the pictures!

Can you find shoes that fit easily?

Love, Pearl

House Clearing For Pleasure!

I have been ridiculously busy for what seems like ages. I have been on this course for the job centre and on days when I wasn't there I have been having a clearout in my house with my mum.

This means that finally I have got it done properly. We have thrown out so much stuff I couldn't believe it even fitted in. Well, it didn't. That was the problem. We have one final room to finish (mine) and then I might (might) finally be on an even keel. I am really loving having some actual space in the house at last too. I also found an old friend (I am still a student/hippie at heart.)

Rainbow coat!

The trouble was all the stuff I have been holding on to for years with that foolish belief that I either need it or want it. I don't need it. My mum has helped me say goodbye to things I was holding on to merely out of sentiment. Though she did stop me from putting my wedding dress in the recycling. 

I have instead put it away again and hopefully will eventually get around to using the material to make something else that I might actually wear. It is a beautiful colour and it would seem a shame to waste all that fabric. I quite want to make it into a 50's prom dress style. But then I have nowhere to wear it, so why bother...

I have also started being more proactive and thorough with my job searching. I am trying to apply for something every day though this is not always possible (unless I do go for that butchers job Universal Jobmatch is convinced I could do). I also have refused to apply for the jobs as catalogue distributors that abound on there.

I have finally got a bite and have an interview for a Teaching Assistant role. Unfortunately it is on a voluntary basis, but it would give me great, up-to-date, experience which I think is lacking from my current CV.

To this end, having thrown out tonnes of my old clothes, I have been shopping! I bought a waterfall cardi and some new leggings the other week but really wanted to buy a lightweight jacket that I saw in the shop. The no money issue raised it's ugly head though.

So I waited for my next Jobseekers Allowance payment (which is the one I get to do stuff for me/madam with (the other one just goes on rent)). I went back and bought the jacket as I really think having a smart jacket is an investment in lieu of the job I want to get. I also saw a lovely, smart winter coat which would mean I could stop wearing my incredibly dull but practical anorak. And smart enough to wear as an overcoat when going on interviews. 

Smart. Though having to take the photo in a public toilet with the sink getting in the shot is less glam than I hoped for!

My mother very kindly paid for it and I gave her half the money and will give her the other half next month. I really can't re-iterate enough how lucky I am to have such supportive parents. Madam and I would struggle so much without them. And I wouldn't have a washing machine, still!

As part of my Fast Track 2 Work course from the job centre I did a mock interview, which was tailored for a TA role, this was great as it made me do a proper interview but in that controlled, safe environment. It was conducted by people who work for the local council and they gave us really great feedback on the answers we gave. I still hated it though! I was so nervous before I went in and did waffle a bit. But I did ok, and I felt more confident on the answers that I had prepared.

Nervous!

My interview was originally scheduled for Wednesday last week (5th) and has now been moved to Thursday this week (13th). So I am also getting the chance to get my nails done properly before I go. I have told Becky at my favourite nail place that I am having to be sensible this time and she was sad as we usually try and make my nails as fun as possible. It's £15 which is not *that* much given it lasts a minimum 3 weeks and I do want to look as professional as I can (chipped polish is a no-no!)

So, um, yeah. Think I have rambled on enough for today. Hope you're having a good week!

Reading Challenge – January Update

First things first, Happy Birthday to this blog! I can't believe it's been up and running for a year already and that I have managed to post over 200 times in the last year! I hope this will continue for a long time to come.

And now, on to what you really want to hear about, reading:

I have set about my challenge with the gusto of the newly converted. I have never forgotten the pleasure I have always found in reading but I have rediscovered the thrill of making time for it.

This has been in part helped by the fact my phone is basically nothing more than a fancy bit of plastic and components at the moment and I have been unable to use it for anything even vaguely diverting for most of this month just gone.

I have had my evenings given back to me in a way. I have, of course, still been watching DVDs like they’re going out of fashion, but I have always sort of used them as background noise. I have also spent some time actually watching some of those DVDs and getting much more out of them than I do when I am also plugged in to Twitter at the same time!

But what about the books, I hear you say. There have been more than I really thought even I would get through. I’m not a slow reader but I am only really reading in the evenings and at weekends. I have also slotted some in on my commute to the course the jobcentre have insisted I complete.

The first book from the list I created was I Capture The Castle by Dodie Smith (who also wrote 101 Dalmatians, did ya know?). I enjoyed the book and found it absorbing with plenty to think about to keep me interested in what is, after all, a fairly standard love story.

The book is written from the point of view of Cassandra Mortmain and takes place over six months in which many changes happen to her family. Cassandra and her bored older sister Rose, younger brother Thomas, stepmother Topaz and her father – a once famous author now gone to ruin through a crippling case of writers block.

Everything changes when the Cottons arrive to take over the running of Scoatney Hall. The Cottons bring with them all sorts of glamour and an injection of company the family is not used to.

Most importantly the new owner of Scoatney Hall and his brother are young and handsome (this is the bit that I said was standard).

But the book is more than just a love story. The rehabilitation of the family from abject poverty to a new beginning is beautifully told and I read it long into the small hours to find out what would happen next.

The book is written in journal style which lends it a pleasing conversational style, allowing you in to Cassandra’s innermost thoughts. She is a spirited and amusing storyteller.

My main disappointment was in the ending of the book. I had successfully paired everyone off previous to the last couple of chapters but was left with an unfinished feeling about Cassandra’s own story.

I quite wish there was a sequel.

I have managed to read my first full Georgette Heyer novel as well. And did enjoy it greatly, my mum knows me well enough to have suggested the perfect book to get me going.

The full list of books I read in January looks like this:

1.  I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith – 31/12/13 ~ 4/1/14
2.  A Tale of Time City by Diana Wynne-Jones – 4/1/14 ~ 5/1/14
3.  The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey – 5/1/14 ~ 8/1/14
4.  The Grand Sophy by Georgette Heyer – 5/1/14 ~ 12/1/14
5.  Stardust by Neil Gaiman – 8/1/14 ~ 11/1/14
6.  Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte – 11/1/14 ~ 27/1/14
7.  Lone Wolf by Jodi Picoult – 13/1/14 ~ 16/1/14
8.  Is It Just Me? By Miranda Hart – 17/1/14 ~ 23/1/14
9.  Reckless by Cornelia Funke – 24/1/14 ~ 26/1/14
10.The Long Earth by Terry Pratchett & Stephen Baxter – 27/1/14 ~ 31/1/14

(Just squeaked that last one in by finishing it off at lunchtime today!)

Pretty impressive, I thought. You know, for someone who probably read less than that many books in the whole of last year…

I have lined up my first book for next month and have to say thank you to my lovely friend L for posting me her copy. I have now also got hold of copies of two other books on my list and will have to decide which month I am going to assign them to.

I mentioned that in the last month I have been doing this course from the jobcentre, I have to say that it has proved much more helpful than I initially thought it was going to be and I have found that the days have passed incredibly quickly with something to occupy myself with.

I have also had mother in to help me get the house sorted out properly. We have junked so much stuff that I should be surprised there is anything left. But I am not as I knew I had an excess of everything, which was making staying on top of things just so hard.

But the house is properly tidy at the moment. And I am keeping on top of the cleaning. I have been making sure that madam has been eating breakfast and we have been slightly less rushed in the mornings. I feel a lot more in control than I have done for an incredibly long time.

The only down point is the enormous damp patch that has sprung up in madam’s room. The guttering has things growing in it and is leaking quite badly just by her window coupled with the fact the pointing around the same part of the window has crumbled. This is not good for her at all, the agency are now getting on top of it, but I really rather wish it was already done.

Oh, and I have got my new washing machine sorted! Things are really on the up around here… 

My reading challenge was inspired by essbeevee and her Books are Amazing posts (latest post on that link).

A busy old week so far

Well, hello! How are you? What have you been doing with yourselves? I have been all over the place in the last few days! I shall begin at the beginning and see where we go from there.

First of all, I finished the other mitten! Here it is, complete with fastening sewn in place. Cute, no?

As mentioned in my post from the other day we went to the panto on Monday. We set off fairly early on Monday morning so that we got a bit of shopping time in before having lunch. This was quite painful as madam and I have been enjoying our lie-ins whilst we've been on Christmas holidays. But we knew we would be getting back in to it with school starting on Tuesday anyway.

So, madam and I did a bit of shopping around York and got my mum a magazine with a free sewing pattern that I thought she would like. We also got madam some Frozen stickers to go in her new album. She has not stopped talking about Frozen since we went to see it with the Guides in the middle of December. And I still love that it contains a song that references fractals :)

We did end up in the Disney shop as well, somehow... I managed to drag madam away and we went and looked at pretty shoes in Schuh for a bit before heading over to the restaurant where we were meeting my parents and younger bro for lunch. 

Having lunched hugely on risotto and ice cream we headed to the York Theatre Royal for the panto to start at 2.30pm. Madam was so excited and I was a little worried she'd fidget. But I should have known better. She sat through the entire first half completely glued to what she was watching and with her mouth open like a fish! 

When the first half finished she looked devastated whilst I took her to the bathroom. I managed to find that this was because she thought the show was over! I promised her there was another half to come and reminded her that Grandpa had foolishly promised her an(other) ice cream! She perked up rather a lot at this prospect!

The second half brought more fish impressions and another sad face as the panto finally drew to a close. Her favourite thing had been the Gene Genie and the bit where they had gone into a filmed section and one of the characters had ended up upside down in a bin. She chattered about it non-stop on the bus back to the car-park but was so tired by then she just leant on my shoulder quietly on the drive home.

Tuesday was back to school day and I also had to go and sign on. I went round to the folks to get myself ready for the Jobcentre. It always makes me feel like I've done something wrong. I got to my appointment a few minutes early but then had to sit and wait, and wait, and wait! I was kept waiting for nearly 45mins which is not good when you're already feeling kind of anxious. 

I ended up having a half an hour or so consultation when it was finally my turn. I am looking to change my job search as I am not finding anything really to apply for. They offered to sign me up to a (and I hate this title) Fast Track 2 Work course. I, of course, said yes. I'm all for a course :) The drawback is that it is in Driffield and that I had to have a one-on-one interview before being accepted. Again, in Driffield. 

And that is what I did yesterday. I got my dad to give me a lift (aren't dad's great?) and went for a chat with the lady that will be running the course. She had also come in from Beverley to chat to me (ah, yes, bureaucracy is stupid). Anyway, we drew up a learning agreement and I told her, honestly, about the things I find hard about job searching (the forms, the phonecalls, the lack of self-worth!). She has promised she can help. Excellent. So I start this course next Tuesday (14th) and it runs until 4th Feb.

Today is the first day I have had to myself this week, I am quite enjoying being back at my fave cafe nursing one bottle of diet coke for as long as possible! They know me quite well, they don't mind!

And how is my reading going? Quite well actually. I have already read 3 books this year and am about a third of the way through an actual Georgette Heyer. I'm just starting another on my Kindle and will hopefully get that finished shortly. I think this is setting itself up to be a reading year. In the same way that last year was all about the crochet and the year before was knitting! 

I seem to only obsess over one thing at a time...     

procrastination is reaching out!

I could make some joke about windmills in my mind, but nah...

I am a little overwhelmed. I recently checked my spam comments box (I have to say, I had forgotten to do it for ages) and found loads of stuff in there!  If you comment whilst anonymous it puts you in there automatically... There is some lovely feedback and some tips for how to progress. I am really thankful for this discovery as it helps me feel like I'm connecting with people on a much bigger scale than I had thought.

I am glad of this new impetus to keep moving forward. I am feeling a little like I have started an uphill climb at the moment. What with the job hunting that I am doing as well. 

Anyone who follows me on twitter will have noticed a distinct lack of me celebrating getting an interview for the cover supervisor job I applied for (which I wrote about here). This is cause I didn't get one. Even though I thought I had met all their criteria :(

I have emailed them in the hope of getting some feedback but have had no response so far. I have two or three jobs I'm applying for at the moment and will let you know if I hear back from anything. I am getting the distinct impression that being out of work for 5 years might be a big black mark against me. 

I haven't really had much chance to progress a lot further with my current craft project, but am still ahead of myself, so don't feel too worried about it all. I am also planning on how to write it all up so that you guys will be able to read all about it as soon as possible.

I have been doing nothing exciting with my time and am slightly disappointed that my planned trip to the cinema for Classic Movie Tuesday with the We Watch Films guys has been cancelled. This has become my monthly escape and I am now stuck in the house with madam this evening instead. But I am mainly just being moany and selfish, just ignore me... I am *quite* glad I don't have to sit at the Odeon for a few hours though, those seats are still as uncomfy as they ever were...

I think the last time I had been there before the WWF guys showed the Labyrinth was with friend L and we watched the Grease anniversary showing! (I may have completely mis-remembered this event!). I remember going to see the Blair Witch Project there as well...

But I do love going to the cinema and it used to be my bad habit when I lived with my parents. I went 3 or 4 times a week and would think nothing of going from a late shift and then to a midnight showing (obviously not if I was on the early the next day!).

I used to be so up to date with what was around and I still feel that loss of freedom quite keenly. I have to make so many arrangements just to go once a month now, it sucks :( 

Although, I have got a decent working DVD player again and can at least watch stuff in the evenings. I still get stuck with madam's choices after school though! I have vetoed certain films for a while now! We'll be finishing off the film version of the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe this afternoon. We went through the whole of the BBC TV adaption the other day and she wanted to compare! 

I have to say watching one straight after the other really does throw up the "Hollywoodisation" of the film. But I do still quite enjoy it. I have to pretend I don't know the books, but I can just about not throw things at it (unlike friend V!). I do wish someone would make the Magician's Nephew into a film though, I have a real love for that book...

Madam and I went on another nature walk at the weekend and found yet more mushrooms for her to look at. The best was a lilac/grey one we found in the beech wood near my parents. No idea what it was. We never dare pick or eat any just in case they are poisonous. I'd love to go out with an expert and do some proper foraging. I know that we see a lot of parasol mushrooms and as far as I'm aware you can eat those, but I still have that fear just in case we are wrong!

Sadly, I didn't take my phone out with me so didn't manage to get a photo of the lovely purple 'shroom, or any of the windmills we passed on the way home. There are three locally that are no longer in use, but there is a working one locally too (the picture at the top). We need to go back there again. I really want some locally produced flour :)

  

no, not a job, a career

A view you can't get tired of.

My job hunting has been slow and steady. I have applied for a couple of things and had a consultation or two with the National Careers Service who have been really very helpful and pointed me in the direction of all sorts of things I didn’t know about. I have one application in at the moment that I am really quite hopeful about.

I have applied to one of the local schools as a Cover Supervisor. Which is a job that I don’t think existed when I was at school. It involves working within the classroom and also in other roles around the school. For example, supervising detentions or sitting with someone who is in isolation for whatever reason. I could be helping with after school activities, going on school trips as an extra body, all sorts really. But the main idea is that I cover for any teacher who needs to be out of their classroom for a lesson or so. I deliver their lesson plan and mark any work etc.

It’s a bit like being an in-house substitute teacher without having to be an actual teacher. So I can totally apply without a teaching qualification. I had a right stress about filling the form in as I am incredibly bad at selling myself and feel like an idiot when referring to myself in the third person. But my stressing worked in my favour as I got the end date muddled and handed in the form before the deadline which made me feel better.

The main reason I am so excited is that I think I actually match the person specification really well. I even had some of the desired skills as well as all the essential ones. I have to wait until the 20^th Nov before I know my fate as if I haven’t heard before then I know I don’t have an interview. But if I don’t get one I fully intend to find out why not as I think I am a good candidate. And it would be handy to work on something to help me in the future rather than dwell on disappointment.

I have seen another couple of teaching assistant type roles, both of which are in the SEN area. I would find this a really interesting place to work so am applying even though I know I don’t have the correct experience. They can only say no, after all. I also have a new plan to get some school based experience with my local LEA. I have finally finished updating my CV and will be sending that in to schools along with the correct form they would need from me already filled out (Giz a job!).

I am still really keen to find a job that would allow me to use my listening skills as I do enjoy that type of work and have been looking at both school counsellor and education welfare officer jobs. The former seem to be as rare as hen’s teeth and the latter doesn’t appear to be a need locally. Sucks. But perseverance is the key!

On an unrelated note, it's Children in Need in the UK and madam is going to school in her pyjamas to help raise money. She thinks this is a great idea and I am quite happy to donate a pound for the privilege. They work they do is inspiring and although we haven't directly benefited from their UK work I have friends who have.

In Hull they support both the C.A.R.E. project and the Visually Impaired Cricket Team. The former is somewhere that I would really like to be part of and work for. 

Oh, and one final thing. Hull is up for the UK City of Culture 2017 finals. There is a film that has been produced to back the bid. It makes even me feel incredibly proud of the city. It is time good things happened there, they have been waiting for a chance and this could really be it. The link to This City Belongs To Everyone is here for some reason it won't let me embed the video... 

The whole of the city is getting behind it and there was even a point where #HullYes trended in the UK on twitter because of it. That's us winning the social media battle, lets hope we win the title!

the benefits of jobseeking

Perhaps I need to start widening my job-hunting criteria!

There has been much stress in my life over the last couple of weeks whilst I sorted out going from Income Support to Job Seekers Allowance (JSA). I was told all the steps I needed to take and *exactly* when to take them.

I did ask them whether I could apply for JSA early as a payment gap would be a big issue for madam and I. They assured me that if I applied when I was told to that there would be no issues. This was obviously one massive lie.

I have spent the last couple of weeks in a weird kind of limbo wherein I am being paid money, but not the quantity I was anticipating and at different times than I was planning on. I have at least been paid enough that I covered my rent payments, but it left me with nothing else. Almost literally.

My mum and dad lent me some cash just to tide me over and I thought it would be resolved on Tuesday this week when my next payment was due in. Again, I was wrong. The payment wasn’t there at which point I had a major freak out and considered making a formal complaint to the DWP.

I found the site to make complaints and it said I should check with my branch to see if they could help before instigated complaint procedures and I figured, as I was going to sign on, I would ask them in person. Having got to sit with my advisor and he ticked me off I then asked about my money.

The chap looked at me as if I was a bit of a wally and explained for JSA the signing on acts as a signal to release my money and then it would be paid a couple of working days after that. Why no-one could have told me that at any point before I got to meltdown level, I don’t know. The upside is that I am expecting a full payment on Friday and can then pay off all sorts of other things that have been on pause whilst I’ve been transitioning.

One of the things I am waiting to do is change my name by deed poll. This has been more of an issue than I thought it would. It’s my name after all and I *should* be able to call myself whatever I fancy. My dad has proved less keen than I was expecting. I have said for ages I would go back to my maiden name but then, I thought, why should I? I have spent years frustrated at people’s inability to pronounce or spell my name; I should go for something easier.

My mum’s maiden name is really nice and easy and my uncle didn’t have any kids so will die out with him. Well, their branch of it will at any rate, so why not change it to that then. One word: Dad. He was not keen on the idea at all and when my cousin jokingly said I should use it as a first name with my maiden name as a surname he got even more upset! I think it might have been in part as I agreed with said cousin and said it was cool. At no point would I ever have *actually* done that though. I do not wish to spend the rest of my life explaining why I am named after a woodland creature!

So then today I came up with a name that combined the two and I actually quite liked (I still am unlikely to actually use it) and this did at least raise a bit of a smile with my dad. But I think I will just go back to re-joining my lovely Scottish roots. I have always been proud of that part of myself; it’s always made me a little unique amongst my friends. And my middle name, which I loathed for years? Nope, gonna keep that too. Unique is good sometimes. I am nothing if not full of contradictions.

So, having spent a couple of weeks dithering and deciding I think I will just revert to maiden name as I had always planned to. But now I have made the decision I want to be able to do it instantly, the waiting for the official paperwork may be all just too much for me! I then just need to filter it out to everyone who knows me by my married name. Bank first, methinks…

Oh, and then I have to deal with my poor madam being upset she can't change her name too... I have been told the school might do it for her within that setting, but obviously not on anything official.

She had the day off school yesterday as she's having another viral wheeze episode with the rotten cold she has at the moment. We mainly sat about in our 'jamas and played around in the morning and then we went to my parents to annoy them for a bit! Madam introduced them to the Lorax which they both giggled at and I went to the jobcentre again for a meeting with a training advisor. The result of which is me being booked on a course to update my IT skills...