making madam over

New day, new post. We *finally* got round to getting madam's school jumpers sorted out for September. This whole task has ended up being more complex than you would have thought. We'd been told many conflicting bits of information about where and when we could source them but success is ours. Two jumpers, £2 each. Get in!

 

I was asking madam if she was ready to be a big schoolgirl now and what would she be wearing to her new school (she's worn a mix of uniform and her own clothes to nursery).

 

She told me she needed her grey skirt, white top, new jumper, grey socks and school knickers (no, I'm not entirely sure what "school" knickers are, either) and a bow in her hair. Because *all schoolgirls have bows in their hair, don't they, Mummy!* Umm, if you say so... I'm not sure how we're going to achieve this trick with her hair still being so short. After the infamous nail varnish incident which I can't believe was actually 3 months ago already!

 

And after that incident, and the one where she covered herself in my eyeshadow you'd think she'd have learnt to just leave things alone. Especially as she gets in so much trouble after them! But no. Last night she stole my nice new lipstick and coloured herself from head to foot in a dark pink shade. And it took two baths and a lot of soap to scrub it all off again.

 

apparently last time she used my eyeshadow as a lipstick and then some lipstick for random colourings...

It makes me laugh that she complains about the scrubbing when I wouldn't have to do it if she would only behave herself... I'm also *really* hoping that we'll move out of this phase soon. She seems to have been colouring herself in for years... I have to keep reminding myself that partly I should be impressed at her inquisitive nature. But mainly it's still really annoying!

 

I have given myself and mother a new project to get ourselves involved with. Madam is going to a Fairy and Pixie day at Burnby Hall and part of that involves a costume competition. So yesterday mum and I bought three different colours of netting to help make said outfit :) I am quite looking forward to getting to do a sewing project with my mum, we've never done one before.

 

Speaking of sewing projects, I haven't actually progressed with any of my other plans, which is annoying me. I really want to at least get the pieces cut so that I can get on with the sewing asap.  

how lipstick can save the day

I had a very strange kind of a day yesterday. It started off badly and improved slowly. But mostly it was about my emotions and how the newspaper story I mentioned in my post on Sunday was still affecting me (effecting? I never know which one to use).

 

It started with my being incapable of listening to some of my favourite songs without crying. Even ones that wouldn't normally make me cry did. I accidentally heard Everybody Hurts by R.E.M. and that just made it so much worse. I'd forgotten it was in the playlist I was listening to. Now, don't get me wrong, I love that song. And I find it usually to be uplifting and reassuring. There are times when some lyrics stand out to me whilst sometimes others do.

 

I latched on to the ones about loneliness yesterday though, and what had started as a mixed up sort of a thing found a focus. And then I ended up talking to the lovely Dolly Clackett (great blog, btw) and she helped me pull myself up a bit.

 

I moved on to a rather fantastic playlist I have which combines shouty, loud, metalish music with happy, upbeat Beach Boys stuff. Made me feel much better. But then we spoke a bit about homesickness (her) and feelings of not being good enough to deserve the fabulous parents we have (both of us). And somehow knowing I'm not alone helps.

 

The desire to be better than I am shapes me. But not in good ways. I don't feel it as a motivator, more as an oppressive dictator. It makes me question all that I do and compare myself mercilessly to others. It's exhausting feeling that way. But it's lovely to have someone to talk to about it. And I hope the more I learn to talk the less it will eat me up.

 

After having my lovely cheering up chat I went to find some lunch (sushi, ftw) and found myself staring down a new lipstick in boots. It reminded me of my favourite colour from my youth. Black Cherry by Rimmel. I used to wear it loads, along with one called Heatherberry.

 

New lipstick is Barry M Lip Paint in 160 (fashion blogging now, who'd a thought it!). I found a mirror and did my face and remembered how much I like doing my make-up. I do it so rarely now. No time, nowhere to go etc. It made me feel empowered to allow myself to have a better day. Such a strange thing to say just about shoving some lippy on, but it gives you a face to show the world when you don't feel like showing it your own.

 

 

ridiculously serious expression optional

 

And I knew my day was going to get better as I was going to get to see lovely V! Ah, how she has a healing effect on me :) Her lovely smiling face and reassuring presence work wonders on me. We managed to pull off a surprise for madam as she had no idea she was going to see her fairy godmother. Fun! 

 

We went to a lovely café for a drink and madam was mainly well behaved. And we had the nice chat type things. And then, sadly, it was time to head off :( But, I got a nice surprise as V had sourced a new (to me) sewing machine! Wonderful. Many thanks also to the lovely R as I believe it came from his mother :)

 

Somehow, in all this, I failed at giving V her pressie from us... Hopefully, I'll see her again before the end of her hols though.   

 

P.S. My mother has just phoned to see if I'm ok! How does she know when I need to hear her voice? How!?