Lifestyle - A Day at the Museums

In the last week of the Easter holidays I met up with my good friend Tabatha Tweedie her two gorgeous kids for a trip to the Hands on History centre in Hull. We were glad we'd arranged to go as they're closing it down which is going to be a real loss. Hull is meant to be city of culture soon, not sure closing museums really goes with that image!

But, moving on. We met at 10am in time for it opening and lept through the door as soon as they opened it. The ground floor is all about childhood and had a Victorian school set up as well as the chance to dress up in some costumes. Madam decided she would like to be a chimney sweep... 

The kids took it in turn being teacher and then we went to check out the raised area which had lots of books and a puppet theatre. Madam and little tweedie played with the puppets and the animal shaped cushions whilst baba tweedie made a myriad of escape attempts and threw blocks through the gaps in the railings. 

We then went down into the cellar which was set up as a scullery and had lots of laundry items as well as a two seated loo that amused the girls immensely. Baba tweedie chose to climb up and down the stairs with his mummy whilst I supervised the giggling in the cellar!

The girls ran off to look in the shop and when we caught up with them we were bemused to see a lot of Egyptian items. At which point one of the staff pointed out the lift and we discovered there was an upstairs gallery as well! 

We found a room filled with Egyptian artifacts as well as a side room with a sarcophagus and mummy in. Madam was a bit creeped out by the mummy and dashed off into the final display area. This was all about life in Hull through the years. 

They had lots of examples of really random things including a room set up as an 80s living room, complete with textured wallpaper and ruched blinds! Tabatha and I loved seeing the needlework, costumes and old sewing items. I also found a doll dressed in the 1930s uniform of Newland High School for Girls, which my grandmother would have worn. Cool. 

After rounding up the girls who had found a clocking on machine to play with we left through the shop again and said goodbye to the Tweedies. Madam and I went to McDonalds for lunch (which she thinks is the best thing ever!) and then headed for the Maritime Museum. 

This is one of our favourite museums to visit and madam chose to save her favourite part for last. This meant I got to go to the upstairs gallery which was having a Beryl Cook exhibition. I love Beryl's art and was really glad to see so many paintings to look at. Madam even found a display she could play with. 

I did manage to avoid having to explain the Karma Sutra paintings that were tucked in a corner area, thankfully! Madam then went to find her favourite sign before we headed downstairs to the whaling gallery. 

Whilst in the whaling area we discovered they were having a hands on display so we got to handle a piece of baleen (whale's teeth), a harpoon and looked at a whale vertebrae that had been used as a butchers block. I took madam to look at the scrimshaw cabinet as we always notice something new in there. She was most fascinated with the Narwhal tusks this time. 

After having run several times around the museum we declared it time for an ice cream and then rang my mum to pick us up. Parents are great, aren't they? :-) 

I love how many free museums there are to look around in Hull. We'll go again in May half term and look at some of the others. Do you have a favourite museum? 

Love, Pearl.

Lifestyle - Birthday Fun

If you hadn't noticed, it was my birthday this week. Friday the 11th, specifically. I had a genuinely lovely day and I got to spend time with some of my favourite people. Always a good day when that happens.

First up, friend H came up to stay for a couple of nights on the Thursday which meant we got to spend a decent amount of time whilst madam was at school actually doing big girl things. Though mainly we did a lot of eating...

Friday started well, I got brought a mug of hot chocolate in bed (madam had insisted this is what H should make for us all!) and then we had cake for breakfast. So much more exciting than toast! We dropped madam off at school and then headed into town for a coffee. 

I then had my nails done. I went for a bit of birthday glitter, so basically a different shade on each nail! It looks amazing! Both hands match, I didn't get that carried away. Poor H sat and read her book whilst this was happening and it took longer than I thought it would, oops!

Most sparkly nails ever!

After nails we had a bit of time before meeting L for lunch. Time for more coffee then. Obviously. Also H managed a sneaky phone charge whilst we were in the cafe. Good skills.

Lunch was amazing. We went to a place in Beverley called Rebels Smoke House which is an American style diner that specialises in slow cooked local pork. And oh, it was good! I have wanted to go since it opened last year and the girls were in total agreement once I sent them the menus over! 

Our main issue was how on earth we were going to narrow down what we were going to have. We each had at least three different things we really wanted to try. And then they gave us a specials menu! We ignored that in the end and made some strict choices with ourselves. L and I ended up with the Pulled Pork Sandwich and H had the Sliders (3 mini burgers). She had a side of skin on fries with hers and I had onion rings with mine. Oh, and H had some of the most amazing crackling too. She rather generously let us share it with her. 

Best sandwich I think I have ever eaten. I wish I could have had more! The people on the table next to us had something called a Waffle Tower burger which was just a ridiculously large plateful of food!

Pulled Pork Sandwich, Onion Rings, Mississpi Mud Pie and shake, L with both our shakes :)

After eating our mains we turned our attention to the desserts. Both L and I were determined to have a milkshake because they just sounded so tasty. I did manage to talk myself out of the booze infused one I had my eye on. I shall go back just to have one on it's own. It would do it more justice.

We both had the Peanut Butter and Salted Caramel shakes. I had Mississippi Mud Pie, L had Pecan Pie and H had a Brownie Heaven Sundae. 

Afterward we were incredibly full! But so happy. L and I got take-away cups for the last bit of our milkshakes and we went on our merry way. We hit The Works, Lakeland and Boyes before having to part ways so L could make it back to her car and we could collect madam. 

Having collected madam from school, seen another friend E for a quick chat and been to collect a few final things we headed in to Hull for our overnight stay at the Travelodge in the centre. Yeah, not awfully scenic, but near enough to most things in Hull that we could walk wherever we were going. 

The original plan had been dinner and then cinema, but H and I still being really quite full coupled with an early film time made it a no-no. We ended up deciding to have a later meal and just enjoy that and then go for a Kids Club cinema showing on the Saturday morning.

Friday nights tea was had at Nando's. Mainly because we knew madam would definitely eat something and I wanted somewhere that would do a good salad! I had a Mediterranean Salad with Halloumi and Avacado extra. It was delicious and so refreshing after all that meat earlier! Madam had veggie fingers and chips and H had half a chicken with rice and salad. 

Mediterranean Salad with Halloumi and Avacado

Mummy and madam do duck face!

We walked back to the hotel and tried to persuade madam that it was bedtime. It didn't go awfully well, but eventually tiredness overtook her and she fell asleep. As did H, which left me watching All About Steve (possibly the worst film ever? What where you thinking Sandra Bullock?!) whilst drinking the last of my cider. Sounds sad and lonely, but I couldn't have been happier! Such a peaceful end to the day, really.

We had booked breakfast in with our room so went downstairs and had a massive cooked feast before packing up to check out before heading to the cinema. Having made a slight (ok, quite big) balls up over booking tickets we ended up going to see Frozen again! 

And then madam insisted she needed a McDonalds for lunch. So we did that and then headed home to let the cats out. H had to head home and I rather hoped madam would want a nap. Wrong. 

I napped for a bit whilst she bounced around watching CBeebies. We voted for fishfingers for tea. And then we watched Britain's Got Talent until it was time to pick the parents up from the airport. The glamour. 

I had such a lovely couple of days and my friend V's dad popped round to drop me off some fab prezzies from her. The only bad thing has been madam managing to break the screen on my laptop! Not good. But as you can tell from the fact I'm still blogging, it is still working, just a bit hard to see everything I'm doing!

I hope you've been having a good weekend.

Love, Pearl.

Lifestyle - 20 Of My Good Points

Mothers Day! It’s here again. I have been given a lovely card and a pretty pot plant. I have given my mother a different pot plant and a teeny weeny box of Thornton’s chocolates. She told me not to, but I figure a box of 4 can’t be *that* bad. 

I have become very aware this year that not everyone has the same Mothers Day experience to me, so for that reason I shall move on. 

The other day on Twitter I saw a tweet go past asking for help with a bloggers post. It asked for ladies to name five things they liked about themselves.

OK ladies, I need help for a blog post. Can you list five (or more!) things you like about yourself? I can quote you anonymously #lbloggers
— Emma Farley (@EmsLF) March 27, 2014

I thought, sure. Easy. I tried to think of five things and found after I got past the first couple I really struggled. This struck me as troubling. I did think of my 5 things in the end but it made me realise how hard it is to really feel free to like things about you.

@EmsLF my eyes, my sense of humour, my determination, my risk-taking and my creativity. That was hard to think of! #lbloggers
— Pearl Sanguine (@p_gen_says) March 27, 2014

I’ve decided that I will attempt to think of another 15 to make it a list of 20. Emma wrote a full list of 40 things and I thought it was amazing. So, here are the things I’m proud of about myself, I'll start with the ones from that tweet above!

1. My eyes. Really, they may not work so great, but having spent years not really knowing what colour to describe them as in French lessons I have realised how pretty they are.

2. My sense of humour. This is really how I choose to look at the world. I like to see the funny side and I use humour as a defence when I'm uncomfortable. 

3. My determination. This does dessert me sometimes. But I usually do the things I want to do. No matter what. I have never been afraid to do something on my own if it means I get to do the thing I want to. I have flown to other countries where I don't speak the language but mostly I just go to the cinema! 

4. My risk-taking. I think this ties in with the determination thing. I will take a risk on things that others would may be be afraid to. No pain, no gain sort of a thing! (except heights, I'm terrified of heights)

5. My creativity. I love the fact I can create things from nothing to something that is either beautiful or useful and hopefully both!

Right, so on to the next 15 things... I had to wrack my brains pretty hard I can tell you!

6. My eye for detail. I am really good at spotting the little things. Sadly, this usually means I see the tiniest errors in things too! (not always my blog posts, even though I read them through several times!) It does mean I'm really good at spot-the-difference though :)

7. My vocabulary. I am one of those people with a love for words. I like to know where they come from and I love knowing the meaning of peoples names. Pearl, my chosen name, actually is the meaning of my real middle name (complex, huh!)

8. I'm well read. I know I'm on a reading quest at the moment, but I have actually read quite a lot already! Nothing in comparison to some of my friends or my mother, but certainly above the average amount.

9. I speak French quite well. I have always loved learning new languages and French was the first one I was taught at school. I also speak German, Greek and Igbo though none of those awfully well!

10. I am a good listener. I appreciate that I have actually been trained in listening skills, but I had an underlying ability to build upon. And I feel like people can talk to me if they ever want or need to.

11. My loyalty. I have always been a loyal friend and employee. Sometimes to my detriment in regards to working!

12. I make a mean Victoria sponge. Yup, I love baking and a good old fashioned Victoria sponge is my go to recipe. I add stuff to it and play around with it all the time. I also made a rather good chocolate beetroot cake once...

13. I'm quite tall. It annoys me a lot of the time, but generally speaking, being tall is better than never being able to reach the top shelf in the cupboards like my mum!

14. I am loved. It might seem a strange thing to put on this list,  which is supposed to be about my good points. But I think being loved shows me that I am a good person, even when I'm having a down day.

15. I am intelligent. I am conscious that when I put my mind to something I can move mountains. I tend to not let this show too often. Probably a leftover from never being pushed as a kid. But if I really want to, I can work it out. (but not long division, it's a bit of my brain that's missing!)

16. I know loads of useless information. Need someone to partner you on Pointless? I'm your girl! :)

17. I've never had a filling. Brilliant teeth, yup, totally have them! I did have a brace as a child, but that's corrective, not repair work!

18. I always look to the future. I don't dwell on the past. Sure, it affects my life, but I can't change it so lets keep pushing forwards.

19. I can make it on my own. This is a new development for me. Learnt through years of experience. I might feel lonely sometimes and I might wish I had a partner to share things with. But I don't *need* someone. In fact, I can be myself much more easily when I'm on my own!

20. I'm a good mother. I know, this should be the first thing on the list! But I genuinely didn't even think of it when I wrote those first 5 things. I think I place little thought into how my parenting is something I should be proud of, I spend so much time worrying I'm wrong. But I have a beautiful, happy, strong, intelligent, confident little girl. And she wouldn't be like that without me. So yeah, I'm a good mum. And I'm proud of that!

What are your good points? Please feel free to share...

Love, Pearl.

     

procrastination is reaching out!

I could make some joke about windmills in my mind, but nah...

I am a little overwhelmed. I recently checked my spam comments box (I have to say, I had forgotten to do it for ages) and found loads of stuff in there!  If you comment whilst anonymous it puts you in there automatically... There is some lovely feedback and some tips for how to progress. I am really thankful for this discovery as it helps me feel like I'm connecting with people on a much bigger scale than I had thought.

I am glad of this new impetus to keep moving forward. I am feeling a little like I have started an uphill climb at the moment. What with the job hunting that I am doing as well. 

Anyone who follows me on twitter will have noticed a distinct lack of me celebrating getting an interview for the cover supervisor job I applied for (which I wrote about here). This is cause I didn't get one. Even though I thought I had met all their criteria :(

I have emailed them in the hope of getting some feedback but have had no response so far. I have two or three jobs I'm applying for at the moment and will let you know if I hear back from anything. I am getting the distinct impression that being out of work for 5 years might be a big black mark against me. 

I haven't really had much chance to progress a lot further with my current craft project, but am still ahead of myself, so don't feel too worried about it all. I am also planning on how to write it all up so that you guys will be able to read all about it as soon as possible.

I have been doing nothing exciting with my time and am slightly disappointed that my planned trip to the cinema for Classic Movie Tuesday with the We Watch Films guys has been cancelled. This has become my monthly escape and I am now stuck in the house with madam this evening instead. But I am mainly just being moany and selfish, just ignore me... I am *quite* glad I don't have to sit at the Odeon for a few hours though, those seats are still as uncomfy as they ever were...

I think the last time I had been there before the WWF guys showed the Labyrinth was with friend L and we watched the Grease anniversary showing! (I may have completely mis-remembered this event!). I remember going to see the Blair Witch Project there as well...

But I do love going to the cinema and it used to be my bad habit when I lived with my parents. I went 3 or 4 times a week and would think nothing of going from a late shift and then to a midnight showing (obviously not if I was on the early the next day!).

I used to be so up to date with what was around and I still feel that loss of freedom quite keenly. I have to make so many arrangements just to go once a month now, it sucks :( 

Although, I have got a decent working DVD player again and can at least watch stuff in the evenings. I still get stuck with madam's choices after school though! I have vetoed certain films for a while now! We'll be finishing off the film version of the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe this afternoon. We went through the whole of the BBC TV adaption the other day and she wanted to compare! 

I have to say watching one straight after the other really does throw up the "Hollywoodisation" of the film. But I do still quite enjoy it. I have to pretend I don't know the books, but I can just about not throw things at it (unlike friend V!). I do wish someone would make the Magician's Nephew into a film though, I have a real love for that book...

Madam and I went on another nature walk at the weekend and found yet more mushrooms for her to look at. The best was a lilac/grey one we found in the beech wood near my parents. No idea what it was. We never dare pick or eat any just in case they are poisonous. I'd love to go out with an expert and do some proper foraging. I know that we see a lot of parasol mushrooms and as far as I'm aware you can eat those, but I still have that fear just in case we are wrong!

Sadly, I didn't take my phone out with me so didn't manage to get a photo of the lovely purple 'shroom, or any of the windmills we passed on the way home. There are three locally that are no longer in use, but there is a working one locally too (the picture at the top). We need to go back there again. I really want some locally produced flour :)

  

how can a year go so quickly?

I genuinely thought that after madam went to school full time I would get more chance to blog and maybe I would be able to make my blog something really interesting... But no. I seem to neglect it for days on end now.

 

This, I suppose is in part due to just how busy life seems to have become, what with starting to do actual job hunting type activities. But also I think because I am becoming more well in myself.

 

The whole reason I even began to blog was because of my depression and how it was affecting me. I felt like I was hiding from the world and needed somewhere that I could express myself and begin to feel more normal again. And I think it has really helped me. I have learned to be able to look at myself in a different way.

 

But do you know what has really helped? Twitter. Yes, that's right, the worlds favourite micro-blogging site (WTF *does* that mean? It's a chat room for crying out loud...). But over the last year I have met and befriended so many people who show me nothing but kindness and encouragement. Supporting all my endeavours and just generally being lovely. It's the community I always wanted to live in, full of like-minded souls.

 

Obviously, my lovely friends who I have known for years have all been a massive part of it too. But Twitter even comes into that too. We are now more capable of staying in touch than we ever have been before, and we can talk as a group which is *almost* as good as having them all there together.

 

 

It is just over a year since I first came out as being depressed. I had struggled alone for quite some time before then. I am amazed at the difference a year can make. At about this point last year I was sitting crying, almost uncontrollably, in a café. My lovely friend picked me and madam up and brought us to her house for tea. I still can't thank her enough for how much that meant to me.

But now, although my demons aren't all defeated, I'm so much happier. My feelings of being overwhelmed all the time have subsided. I am finding I have some of my confidence back. I have applied for a couple of jobs (sadly, not successfully) and I think I can fight my own corner a bit more.

My beautiful, crazy, cheeky little girl has just turned 5 and I feel like a new start is upon us. I have started making the proper moves to go back to my maiden name. I am determined to draw a line under the end of my relationship. I *finally* have lost those feelings for him that were making that so hard.

I will always care about him. But as the father of my child not a partner. I finally feel free of him. And having my real name, as it were, is going to be a part of that. I feel like, with this blog, I have spent a lot of time giving you progress reports. And having to really think about me, who I am, how things have changed has done me no end of good.

I think that now I am here this blog is starting to go in another different direction. It will always be a place for me to think things through, and for me to ask questions I feel I need to, but mostly it's becoming a crafting type blog! I have another finished project for you to see, but I'll just finish this bit first...

I am so thankful for all your support. Thank you for helping me realise that life is sometimes shit, but always worth it. Thank you for being there, I hope if you ever need me I can be there for you. Thank you to whoever it was who invented Twitter and for it giving me a space to meet people who are just like me, only different and wonderful all at the same time.

(This is a really big, aww, you guys *group hug* type of post!)

So, project! I have crocheted a new hat for myself (I may need to do one for a couple of other people too (that would be one each, not to share!)). The pattern came from Ravelry. If you're into knitting/crochet it is a great site to sign up to... So many patterns!

The pattern I used was one of the free ones that is available. It's called Polar Hat and is by Pippa Wilson. It comes from her blog and you can find it here if you're interested. It's a really quick make, I made it in an evening. It uses chunky weight yarn and an 8mm hook. Her version is a rather fabulous orange, but I chose a James C. Brett marble in shades of purple for mine.

And here it is:

wow, cheesy grin or what!

It has a very small brim that gives it that bit more interest than a beanie. I made mine very slightly bigger as I have a big head! I would imagine that her design would fit almost everyone else though...

Whaddya think?  



a Sunday summary

I have been having a busy week, hence the lack of any blog posts from me. Have been utterly skint and incapable of getting to my usual source of free wifi (Caffe Nero, I love you). Then, when I did have funds my time was taken up with more planning for other stuff.

 

Also I spent a lovely morning with friend V doing birthday present prospecting, yarn shopping and lunching with friend L and her littlies. I had a fabulous time and I had the selfish delight of having V to myself for a couple of hours which never happens any more!

 

I have now acquired everything I want for madam's bday on Friday (18th). I have gone with a new outfit, a fleece onesie thing with penguins all over it, and the Lalaloopsy doll that she saw and fell in love with. The doll proved the hardest thing to track down as all the shops were out of stock of that particular one. I eventually ordered it from Amazon as even Tesco, who were advertising it, didn't actually have one when I tried ordering it.

 

It is a special one as it was created for National Cat Day which happens to be October 29th and as madam is an October baby and mad on anything feline, it was the logical choice :) Her name is Whisker's Lion Roar which is preposterous, but madam loves these dolls. If you feel like having a gander the link is here.

 

She is meant to be arriving on Tuesday, I *really* hope she isn't late or I shall start to panic. I was looking at a few on ebay, but they are nearly all the same price as in the shops or more, and then ludicrous amounts in P&P because they're heavy. I gave up on that in the end.

 

Now I just have to make a birthday cake and wrap everything up...

 

I did weather charts and rain gauges with the Guides on Friday as further badge work. Next week we're doing a wide game that involves clues so that we'll be ready for the treasure/scavenger hunt around town the week after! I also handed in my application form for midday supervisor at one school and picked up an application for the same at madam's school. I have just seen an advert in town for a coffee shop too. That's a shop that sells coffee, not a café as I first thought it was.

 

I have been wondering about setting up another blog which will be about madam's fashion choices as she keeps me endlessly amused with what she wears and has the ability to make most things look good. The idea comes from one of my favourite Pinterest boards. The My Imaginary Well Dressed Toddler Daughter board is full of child modelling photos with added captions. It makes me giggle, a lot. 

 

But it started me thinking about the whole child modelling thing and madam's love of posing and dressing up. It would probably be a once a week post and I was thinking of making it a proper fashion blog and breaking her outfits down. It might be quite funny. Sadly, I will have to miss out some of these gems...

 

 

 

and just wait for her personality to shine on through. For example, today she has spent dressed up as a skeleton. No, it's not Halloween for another few weeks, but that is not going to stop her!

 

When I have it up and running I shall let you all know :)   

Labyrinthine Fun :)

Last night was the first ever We Watch Films Classic Movie Tuesday event. And it was one of my all-time favourite films, Labyrinth!

 

I managed to persuade a rather reluctant H (she had been scared by it as a child) that what she wanted to do with one of her precious days off was drive all the way to my house and go and watch a film she was wary of... Although, she didn't take lots of persuading, it has to be said!

 

She arrived on Monday afternoon. Earlier than I had thought she would, but that was even better. We got to surprise madam by having her auntie pick her up from school with mummy. Much more fun than normal!

 

We then got to spend the afternoon/some of the evening actually building the bed H would sleep in, but we did manage to do it pretty easily and with no swearing. Organising everything at the beginning probably helped that process... (H is an expert flat-pack builder, she should hire herself out!)

 

Yesterday, after dropping madam at school we went into town to get ourselves a mask each for the masquerade theme of the evening. Now, I hadn't *actually* mentioned that there was a theme. Or a fancy dress element. Or a competition... But we had decided on posh frocks and adding a mask is fairly harmless! And once we were there and had seen some of the other costumes, it seemed awfully tame!

 

Having bought plain masks we then had to decorate them. This was achieved with glittery mosaic stickers, gloopy glue and some glitter :) Crafty goodness on a Tuesday afternoon, nice :) Only, I don't have the gloopy glue, it lives at my parents house, so we dropped in on my dad for an hour and had fun doing sticking! Also, H got to admire his marine tank...

 

 

 

 

We picked madam up from school, got ready and went out almost as soon as my dad came through the door to babysit! This in itself was a surprise as I thought it would be mum, but who cares as long as someone supervises the 4yr old it's all good!

 

We were a bit early getting to the cinema, but there were a few people already there and we found Paul, who had organised the night, quite easily. He did appreciative admiring of our mask making and we all agreed the masks were much more annoying than we had anticipated! Mine was made worse by the fact I had to take my glasses off to wear it. I can see clearly for about 6 inches in front of my face without them. Excellent...

 

 

 

 

I gave up before we went into the cinema and had to put my glasses back on. But not before the official photographer had taken our photo! Before the film started there was the judging. And the top 6 costumes were called to the front. I was slightly sad that the guy who had dressed as one of the door knockers didn't make the line up.

 

We did an incredibly scientific cheering and clapping scoring system and the winner was deemed to be a young boy. This meant that the girl who had dressed as Sir Didymus got second place... But you can't win against a child! She was given free tickets to next months showing as a consolation... (But she was my favourite).

 

And so what is next months film? The big reveal was before the film started when we played the official trailer. And it was for Ghostbusters! A totally appropriate Halloween type film. H has vetoed it, so I might have to go to this one alone. But as the We Watch Films guys are like one big family, it wouldn't be too bad if I did. And I have always wanted to watch that on the big screen too! 

it's all about the love! L-O-V-E love!

Hello blogosphere! So sorry to have ben gone so long. I was expecting to be back last week and then events conspired against me.

 

Madam has started at big school and went only in the mornings on Tuesday and Wednesday. Somehow, I failed to have any time to write then. On Thursday we travelled up to Edinburgh to attend my cousins wedding. When we arrived we discovered the Little Chef (with free wifi) next to the Travelodge had closed down.

 

This was a major pain as some of our planning had hinged around a large cooked breakfast on Saturday morning... We ended up buying our own weight in porridge pots from Asda so we didn't have to have the rather uninspiring Lodge breakfast.

 

Travelodge did have wifi. For £5 an hour! WTF Travelodge! It was £10 for a day and £20 for a week, which, in the scheme of things was not unreasonable. But too expensive for me... So, no access to the internet except via my phone. And then not really much time for that as we had family to see and a madam to amuse.

 

On Thursday evening we went to my Aunt and Uncles house for a meal and to meet (in some cases for the first time ever) some of my American relatives. We did spend a portion of the evening trying to decide what relation we all were to each other. It was quite funny, ultimately though, we couldn't work it out. We're going with extended family, and everyone is happy!

 

I loved meeting these new Aunts, Uncles and Cousins. As I didn't *really* remember having met any of them. And for my Florida based family it was the first time ever! And I love them! We all got on instantly and there is a definite shared sense of humour going on... Particular props to my uncle R who pretty much constantly had me laughing.

 

I just need to go to the States now...

 

On Friday we went to a Butterfly Farm with madam. It started as just something mum, dad and I were going to do, but in the end both my brothers and H came. We saw loads of butterflies (not surprisingly), including some that were hatching out. We got to feed the quails who were running around the butterfly house and then we got to play with the creatures in the reptile and insect house.

 

 

Madam proved her inquisitive nature by holding anything the man offered. We started with a Royal Python called Turkana. She had been bought as a male for the them, but sadly, after producing eggs, was found not to be. They do have a confirmed male snake now though.

 

She was beautiful and had some quite distinctive markings. Madam had to have help to hold her as she was very powerful and quite big for a 4 yr old! Then we got to hold a millipede. It pooed quite liberally over the guy who worked there. I have a feeling that this is actually madams highlight of the whole trip!

 

Finally, we held a Chilean Rose Tarantula called Rosie 2. She did just sit very still on your hand. Well, except on me where she decided to go for a walk... But madam held her. By herself. She was so proud of herself for having done that. She's not very sure about whether spiders scare her, so it was good that she had that experience. H on the other hand *is* scared of them. But even she managed to shake a paw. Very brave indeed.

 

 

 

My brothers and H then went into the city whilst we had lunch at the garden centre next door. We planned on going down to the beach afterwards and flying madams kite, but the rain set in and we wimped out. I tried to get madam to have a nap as we were having tea at a pub later, but no...

 

Tea was at the Sheeps Heid pub. My mother remembered coming there as a student to play real skittles, but sadly we didn't get the chance as there was a private party in there. We did end up with a big family dinner as my uncle and the male relatives were excluded from bridesmaid fun! Though we did end up with one aunt as she didn't fancy it!

 

But then it was Saturday. And I had been waiting for this day since my cousin announced she was engaged! My cousin L had always been my favourite when we were kids. She's six years younger than me so used to be like a baby sister. And I really love her husband. He's always seemed like the perfect guy for her.

 

The ceremony was at 1.30 and seemed to be over in a flash. L looked stunning and G could not have looked happier. We then headed out to a stately home just outside Edinburgh for the reception. We were piped in and met with the most beautiful hall and staircase. There was champagne, there were lots of people. We got to poke about in a couple of rooms. We were not allowed to sit on a lot of the furniture! The place was stuffed with beautiful art works and an impressive amount of trinkets. The views were amazing and we had some photos taken on the front lawn.

 

There were speeches and then the most wonderful meal (not surprising given G is a restauranter). Even A didn't grumble about it, and, being a chef, he usually finds something! (that was a lot of commas)

 

But by this point it was 8.30... dancing was supposed to start at 9, but we had to cut the (gorgeous) cake first. The first dance was lovely and as romantic as you'd hope for. There was a rather raucous ceilidh trying to kick off, but we had to get madam home to bed. She was physically wilting before our eyes.

 

Annoyingly, she perked up back at the hotel, but we had some fun taking pictures and then I forced her into bed. So tired. So happy.

 

 

 

Sunday was hometime and then madam was at school again. Full days now. I feel more lost somehow. Weird, she's been at nursery for ages, I expected it to be the same. But I guess because I know it'll be every day now, it's that little bit different.

 

I shall let you know how it goes ;) 

 

(P.S. you have no idea how hard it was to narrow down the photos. And yes, those are swan shaped choux buns around the bottom of the cake!) 

pinning my life away

I have been on Pinterest for a while now, but it's suddenly clicked with me and I have been manically pinning everything! I've even branched out to more than a couple of boards.

 

I have found it's fabulous for sewing ideas and tutorials. It's got loads of stuff that you wouldn't expect as well. My favourite board to follow is My Imaginary Well-Dressed Toddler Daughter which is made up of child modelling photos  with some fantastic captions. It's just so funny (it might just be me...)

 

And then there are all the pretty things and the recipes and the ideas for home and crafts and allsorts... I am probably boring the people who follow me with my current spamming of their feeds! I found a whole load of Matilda related pins yesterday. And then there were all the Quentin Blake ones. You can see how I've lost hours to it, can't you.

 

I am pinning quite a few tattoo ideas at the moment as well. I really want another one (I have two already) but I like them quite small and simple. So that they can be covered up and so that I won't be embarrassed by them in my old age. As I'm in my mid-thirties now I think it's less likely, but it's always a consideration.

 

I don't like coloured tattoos either. As my skin is so pale I feel the black stands out really well, and I wouldn't want anything too cartoonish (I am picky!). This is not to say that I haven't seen some beautiful coloured tattoos, it's just not my thing!

 

it was brand new here, hence the redness!

 

 

My next problem is where to place it. I have one on my right shoulder and one to the left of my spine near my bum (which is the one above). I would love one on my wrist, but then it would be harder to cover if I had to. Also, on my foot could be good, but I am usually barefoot and I would then have to try and hide it from my parents. Neither of whom approve at all... They are annoyingly conservative sometimes. And yes, I am a big girl so I can do what I want, but deliberately upsetting them by getting a tattoo on show seems very petty and childish.

 

I quite like the idea of some script. A quote or some inspirational words. I saw a nice tattoo featuring the Maya Angelou quote "And still I rise" which makes me feel like I can conquer my demons. I also like bible verses, I have found a lovely one from Proverbs which I really like, but it might end up bigger than I would like. It's verse 31:25
 

 

 

 

Perhaps I should have it placed on my ribcage and then it could wrap around...

 

What do you think?

a review of my life now

a laptop and a coffee cooler, this bloggers essentials (though I only get to drink those when I have enough money!)

 

 

Today is post number 150. Its been making me think about how much this blog has changed since I started it. I started initially in the midst of a depression. I was unhappy and feeling so low and quite worthless. I was living in the most awful mess and worrying constantly about it.

 

I was facing some horrible truths about my life and self and I just didn't know where to start or how I would cope. But I have been doing. And though my problems are still not completely fixed and my house is still something I battle with, I feel much more in control of my life again.

 

The blog has become less about deep and meaningful thoughts and more about things that I have enjoyed. And I'm proud of that. Proud of where I have come from and that somehow (with a lot of help from my lovely friends and family) I seem to be getting my life back on track. I can now start planning the next phase of my life. Because I seem to have been on pause for a rather long time.

 

It also seems to have become somewhere for me to share my various craft projects and current obsessions. (Don't forget, I have a book on Celtic Crafts to get through :)).

 

Currently, madam and I are watching Lilo and Stitch on a daily basis and madam asked me yesterday whether her family is broken, I had to tell her that, yes, it is.

 

 

But I told her that really family is about the people who love you and who care about you. And I told her that she had so many people who loved her very much that she was going to wish it was smaller soon enough!

 

And we are going to be ok. The separation we had from K for all the years he was in America was very different from how the situation is now. But we're moving forward. And the more I find myself again, the less he bothers me. I have always known it was his loss that madam and I were his cast-offs, but it was hard to remember sometimes when we were having a particularly bad day.

 

But many things have changed. Madam has grown so much in the last year at school (and not just upwards). She is still as insanely annoying as she ever was, but she is much more able to apply herself to a task and she's learned to show her compassionate side more often.

 

She still has her insatiable curiosity and her complete inability to listen to a word I say...

 

And once she is at full time school come September another new phase of our life will start. I will have to be much more aggressive about looking for work and more realistic about where my life is really going. We still may or may not be moving house at some point (the court case has still not come up). But I am not as afraid about it. I feel more like I will cope with it, whatever happens.

 

I am not as out-of-control as I was. And I have been off my medication for a while without bad things happening to me! I am starting to be able to look forward to where my life might go rather than being afraid of the unknown...