ee lad, you look crackin'

We have been in Bristol over the bank holiday. I got to play with babies. Madam played with her big cousin. She did also fall off a slide, which was a lot less good. But she mainly bounced. She hurt her ankle and scraped one of her cheeks. But a day of doing nothing on Monday seemed to fix it.

 

As we were in Bristol and we had been waiting so long to do it, we finally hunted the Gromits :)

 

And what a great way to 1) spend a couple of hours doing something fun and 2) get in some sneaky exercise without your child noticing! We managed not to argue at all whilst we were hunting and she fell asleep not long after we got home. Which is what every parent wants!

 

 

 

My favourite? Either of the last two really. I was hoping we'd find the strawberry one as I've seen photos of it and it looks really cool, but it was obviously in a different part of the city...

 

They are going to be gathered together for an exhibition in the middle of September, so we might get chance to go and see them then. It's the same time as himself's birthday, so we could well be in Bristol for it...

 

Ah, so that's what filibuster means!

Strange morning. I woke up to lots of social media excitement about a Texan senator and the magnificent, marathon filibuster she had pulled off. I have to admit to 1) knowing nothing about it beforehand and 2) not being very sure of what a filibuster meant (I am not very politically aware).

 

So, I read the newspaper article and found myself crying about the achievement and the sheer amount of effort and determination Wendy Davis had put in. I am in awe of anyone who has the guts to stand up and be counted that way. I linked the article to my Facebook page to show my support.

 

But it made me think about my feelings on abortion. Which happen to be a bit complex. I absolutely believe a woman has the right to choose what happens to her body. I don't think, in a civilised society, we can justify a woman not being allowed to make the decision on whether she continues a pregnancy or not. However, I would never have one.

 

This is because I believe life starts at conception and that all life is sacred. Whilst pregnant with madam I was offered the standard testing for Down's Syndrome. It took me mere seconds to refuse it point blank. I know that, even if I had been given a positive result, I would have continued the pregnancy. It didn't even guarantee a 100% definitive answer and carried a risk of miscarriage. No thanks.

Madam's first photo :)

if you look at this one carefully, you'll see she's waving!

I should be grateful to the midwife for not even batting an eyelid at my decision and just moving on to the next thing we had to talk about. 

 

I then tried to explain it to K. Then realised I should have just left him in the dark, it only confused him. Learning disabilities are not something he had any awareness of.

 

I am not sure what I would have done if the 20 week scan had revealed serious, life limiting disability. I guess I would have dealt with it at the time. I read this amazing blog from Down Side Up earlier this month and was so moved by some of the frightening statistics it contained. It did make me wonder what options mother's are actually being given. Talk of eugenics will always be terrifying to me.

Again, I do not think that any woman should have their choice taken away though. I believe unnecessary distress to the mother should be avoided as much as possible during pregnancy! Part of the reason I chose not to know was so that I could enjoy my pregnancy in blissful ignorance.

Sadly, I think abortion has almost become another form of contraception to some areas of society but it still isn't a reason to remove the privilege.

My mother tells me that her nana could remember doctors would perform "little operations" on the Victorian ladies in their care who couldn't cope with yet another mouth to feed. This was highly illegal at the time, and obviously only open to the people who could pay for this treatment. But it probably saved some women their lives, childbirth was incredibly dangerous.

And then there are those ladies who are dying because of their unborn child. The case of Savita Halappanavars who died because of strict Irish anti-abortion laws was terrifyingly needless. There are so many more women like her around the world who live in countries where they don't even have the option that the idea of somewhere like Texas trying to take it away from the women of their state is horrifying.

Now, I know they weren't trying to criminalise it, but they were restricting access to it in a dramatic fashion by making it very difficult for women to access abortion services and limiting the ways in which it could be performed. And this is where Wendy Davis came in. She stood up for all the women of her state. She had massive public support (which was obviously being ignored by the Texas House) including that of Barak Obama. And she did it. She talked for almost 11 hours and ended up earning a 15 minute round of applause that disrupted the House the vote couldn't pass before it's deadline.

She is my new hero. Well done Wendy Davis.  

is youth ever wasted?

I was saying yesterday on Twitter that I feel like I have something in me that is pushing its way out and needs to be said but that I don't have the words to phrase it yet... I spent most of last night trying to pin down what it is that's hovering there under the surface. What is it that I'm not telling myself. And why am I hiding from myself now...

 

And it wouldn't come. Though I was replying to a comment on yesterday's post and I couldn't think of how I wanted to phrase what I was saying (and I'm not entirely happy with what I did write), but something did trip out there that sort of made sense.

 

I was saying about how in your own head and your own world your life is so sad and horrid and problematic (slightly worried as "Everybody Hurts" has just come on in my iTunes mix *my computer can read my thoughts!*) and you can't see the woods for the trees. And then you watch the news and you realise that your life is so small and your problems are miniscule compared to someone else's.

 

But it doesn't stop it from feeling that way. You can only live the life that is in front of you. (That was the phrase that struck me, by the way).

 

And I thought of how selfish I am. Why is my life more important than theirs? Because its mine is the obvious answer. You have a very protective streak about the things that you own/care about.

 

I've always thought of myself as a compassionate person, I have always tried to see things from others view points. I have always wanted to help people fix things and to be there for them when they need it. I think that the world would be a much better place if we all just accepted that people are all different and unique and that accepting those differences as standard rather than being something that sets people apart would make us all a bit happier.

 

Cause I couldn't care less about who or what you are, you can be my friend as long as you are prepared to accept me for who and what I am. People are all the same. And being different makes us unique and interesting.

 

I was never a herd animal, even at school. All the sheep who all wore the same clothes and wanted to blend. Wasn't for me. But I didn't really fit my chosen group either. I only occasionally wore the all black (it doesn't suit me). Instead I had the same style of clothes, but in every colour of the rainbow. I rather famously wore bright orange Doc Martens for most of my days after 15. I also had some rainbow dungarees (yes, dungarees, this was the early 90s) and I wore them all. the. time!

 

I was the one who whilst wearing my regulation school uniform of navy blue also had jade green tights and the orange docs on. My parents (apparently) got phonecalls about my lack of respect for full uniform! I *never* knew about that until recently. See, my parents are cool really.

 

I'd like to remind everyone who's known me long enough to remember how strict my dad always was with me. How did I get away with that?

 

I was told off in sixth form for taking liberties with the colour code that was in place. I was asked to stop wearing one of my skirts because although green was allowed they preferred not that many shades of it in one garment. (yes, really). They let the blue tie-die trousers slide though. I actually remember getting an award at the end of sixth form for being thee most fashionable person!

 

I maintain it was tongue in cheek, but beggars can't be choosers!

 

I really wish there were more photos from our youth around. I have a couple, which include the rather lovely V and L (not the one who had twins. Twins! *squee*) Sadly I am not wearing anything particularly exciting in either of them!

 

 

 

I didn't listen to the same music as the rest of my group either. Being that I have been in love with Michael Jackson since I was 10. I did, from 14-17 listen to almost entirely nothing else. I know all the songs inside out and backwards. I am a massive MJ geek and am (finally) not ashamed of it. Anyone who ever checks out the photos I've liked on Instagram will be aware of my obsession still going strong!

 

God I love that I can fangirl happily away on Instagram...

 

Ugh, now I'm thinking of MJ and that it's June. It'll be 4 years on the 25th. I still haven't watched the tribute that friend H recorded for me. I can't bring myself to. My heart is still too broken to try.

 

I'm not sure if I've mentioned before that I used to draw. That was my crafting outlet as a youth. Well, you can probably guess what I spent most of my time drawing. I am very proud of the fact I can still knock off a recognisable MJ at the drop of a hat (Ha! Pun not intended.) but some of my old artwork is actually not that bad.

 

 

 

I miss drawing. But I don't have the ability any more. I'm not sure why. I used to be able to spend hours trying to perfect the likenesses. I lost my patience for it, I guess. I have been thinking of it more and more recently, so maybe it's time to give it another go...

 

I have drawn madam a couple of times, just quick sketches that I haven't been completely happy with. But I think I could really make a good go if I really tried. And in case you're wondering, no I don't really draw other things. Always people, usually faces. Unless madam is making me draw her things to colour in... Or I'm doodling for t-shirt designs ;)

 

Well, this post still hasn't solved that roiling feeling inside. But it's quite enough from me for one day...

Things to do in Bristol in the rain

Yesterday it rained. And rained. And then, as if we weren't already wet and miserable, it rained some more.

 

I took the kids to Playspace in the morning and it was an epic endeavour. First of all, because I've only been once and that was 3 years ago, I took a wrong turn. And friend L's little boy didn't remember the way either. So I think we took the longest possible walk to get there.

 

And when we did we had a 15 minute wait just to be allowed in! I was fed up before we even got in there! We stayed about an hour and madam managed to get stuck at the top of the playframe! And as the only place I'd been able to sit was in a side room I hadn't seen and the poor thing had been shouting for me :(

 

One of the people who worked there helped her down and brought her some ice for her ankle. We went back to L's for lunch and then at about 3 headed back to K's to give her some peace and quiet so she could relax and get her head together.

 

Madam insisted that K took us out for tea and we headed for an Italian in the centre of Bristol. She insisted on wearing the very sweet dress that she'd been handed down from friend E. Whilst we were waiting for our food I was trying to get a nice smiley picture of madam, but she refused.

 

 

 

Instead she insisted on doing her best impression of one of the minions from Despicable Me. I later took that photo and did some editing on it with my PicsArt app, and I really like the results.

 

 

 

Sadly the poorly cough she's been working on for the last couple of days has really taken hold now and I fed her full of various remedies before bed. She seems to be less yucky snotty now at least though...

 

Today we went to the cinema to watch Wreck It Ralph which I've (sorry she's) been wanting to see since it came out. We then went to have completely unhealthy KFC for lunch and I let her go to the Build-A-Bear workshop this afternoon. We now have a pink teddy with hearts on her paws and inside her ears. She's called Lovely, apparently!

 

So now we're heading home again. Friend L has just text me to tell me the babies are here! I shall hopefully be getting to meet them asap!