Recipe - A Multi-Coloured Cake (that wasn't)

Last week I made one of my favourite cake recipes. Only, it didn't turn out the way I had expected it to. Sadly. This wasn't down to anything I did, I am an expert in Victoria Sponge, but rather a fail on the part of my food colouring! The cake still tasted lovely and was just as moist and yummy as always. Just not the multi-coloured marvel I had hoped for.

If you caught my twitter ranting last week when it went wrong you will know that I have said enough about this. And I don't like being a negative person. I will just say; when baking make sure you check that the colouring you use is bake stable. Most of them aren't nowadays!

I therefore umm-ed and ahh-ed about sharing and then I thought, no, EVERYONE can have a fail. It's what you do about it that counts. I won't make this a Pearl's Pantry entry because I do want those to all be stuff that have worked!

Right, so I should tell you what I did, first off, because it is Victoria sponge it is the most simple recipe. And really quite forgiving if you are a learner baker!

I made a 3 egg mix, so for that we needed:

6oz Self-raising Flour

6oz Butter

6oz Caster Sugar 

3 Eggs.

Yup, that's it. Told you it was simple. We start off with the butter and sugar in the bowl and then you cream them together until they've gone creamy and fluffy. I do all my mixing by hand, so it took a couple of minutes for me.

Then we add our eggs in. One at a time. And I find adding a spoonful of flour with each egg makes it a bit easier to combine. Mix it all together until all three eggs are fully incorporated.

Your mix will look really sloppy but don't panic. Add in the rest of your flour and mix that in. It's best to add the flour half at a time if you're hand mixing, makes it easier on the old arms!

Once the mix was ready I split it. I left a quarter in the bowl I'd been mixing in so that would remain yellow. I then but the other three quarters into 3 separate bowls so I could add colours into them.

I added red, green and blue. Then I greased and floured my cake tin which makes it easier to get the cake out afterwards. I spooned blobs of the different colours in and then gave them a swirl to make a sort of ripple effect. 

Bunged it in the oven and waited 45mins until it was done. To test your cake insert a skewer into the centre and if it comes out clean then it's ready. The cake will also start to shrink away from the sides of the cake pan.

When I took the cake out the oven it became immediately apparent the colours had gone wrong in some way. I did slightly hope that when I cut the cake in half it would be better on the inside. Nope. I did achieve a two-tone cake. But not the colours I had wanted at all :(

I sandwiched the two halves together with some chocolate buttercream and then made three colours of icing to go on top, figuring I could at least make it look a bit more cheerful that way. 

Madam then went wild with the icing and we ended up with a distinctly messy, rather failed but yummy tasting masterpiece!

Moral of the story? Failures are not always unsalvageable, cakes can be rescued with some random icing. It's a cake, how bad could it be! ;)

I'd love to know if you've ever had a baking disaster. I can promise you this was not my worst one... I'm still infamous for having burnt a packet mix cheesecake when about 10!

Love, Pearl.

   

A Foxy Little Number

Ever since this months issue (10) of Simply Crochet dropped through my letterbox madam has been hankering for me to make her the little fox coin purse featured on the front cover (it is unbelievably cute!).

 

I went out and bought myself some yarn from Boyes as I did want to keep the fox colours as Fox is my mother's maiden name and I have a bit of a thing for them. But you could very easily make it with whatever DK yarn you have...

 

I got home and then couldn't find the box with my crochet hooks in. It wasn't in my pile of crap that lives on the sofa (even after I tidy it all off it resurfaces moments later). It wasn't in the front room that is now kind of my craft room. I did look in a few other places, but no. Yesterday, I thought, well I haven't tried the big storage ottoman which is where the box officially should be. And yup, there it was, in the proper place, no wonder I couldn't find it!

 

I rummaged through it knowing that I have at least one 3.5 hook, but it wasn't there! Brilliant, all that searching and I still didn't have the hook I needed. I gave up and bought another one yesterday so that I could just get on with it. They are only a pound!

 

I started when we got in from school and after doing the first segment twice (I didn't like how it had crocheted up and decided to re-jig the pattern so I could make it more even). I really didn't do anything exciting, just decided to always start the row with an increase and not alternate as the pattern said to do. I found that when I ended a row on an increase and then started the next row with one, one side of my fabric was a lot tighter than the other.

 

By making the increases always at the start (and keeping the spacing to pattern) I solved the problem. It may just be how I crochet, but perhaps worth keeping in mind if you decide to make it yourself.

 

So I made the two sections for the pocket, crocheted them together and started on the flap/head section. It was only when reading the pattern for the head when I realised I had missed an instruction for the pocket.

 

Arse.

 

I went back and unpicked my seam, corrected the mistake by just undoing my ends (I was so glad I hadn't finished the pieces properly yet!) and reattaching my yarn and going form there. Then I re-seamed and added on the head piece.

 

The ears were made up in moments and I added those on and sewed in all my ends etc. I added a cute vintage style button I had for the nose and I'm deciding whether to surface crochet the eyes on as suggested or use some little black buttons for it.

 

I also need to sew in a zip and then he's finished! He is for madam, but I love him so much I really want to keep him! I am also very tempted to give him a Sir Didymus style moustache and eye patch! Maybe if I make one for me I shall do that :)

 

For madam I might add on a strap so that she can wear it more as a little bag as she would love that.

 

And here he is, step by step. I got rid of the photos of the sections I did wrong! These are just what it *should* look like, if you actually read all the instructions carefully! And I don't think you can see where I had to join in the yarn, bonus :)

 

back of pocket

front of pocket

the two halves seamed together (it's invisible from the front)

head section

head attached to pocket

ears to be attached, ends to be sewn in

done!

 

needed: a different life

Here we are, home in Yorkshire again. And, as it always does, my heart smiled to see the familiar sights and faces. But I do feel, more than I ever have before, that I've left a little bit of my heart down there in Bristol... I do wish I could move down there and make a fresh start in my life.

 

But then I'd just be running away and hiding again. I'd still have all the same things to deal with that I struggle with now. Only with out the backing of my parents, and boy, do they do a lot of backing up still. They buy my groceries for me every week, now how I'd cope without that input, I don't know, because we never seem to have enough money for everything.

 

And I spend time paying one thing to stave off disaster but using just a bit of the money I needed for X or Y and then when I have to pay X or Y I need to borrow a little bit from Z... It's never ending and I don't seem capable of getting myself out of that loop. 

 

For example, my housing benefit doesn't cover the whole of my rent, it leaves me just over £100 short, so obviously that money has to come out of my benefits. I'm meant to pay rent on the 1st of the month, but I'm almost always waiting for some money to come in to top it up to £450... this is because although I have two benefit, a child benefit and 4 child tax credit payments in that month I have always lost some to the rent the previous month and am playing catch up the whole month!

 

For the most part I use my tax credits as our weekly housekeeping and everything else goes to bills/debts etc. But then madam will need something or we'll rebel and treat ourselves to something. Or, more often than not, something will break (be broken). I'll need to pay an extra bill for something I'd forgotten..

 

Or boring things like, peoples birthdays, come up. Christmas, Easter, school holidays they all cost. I hate school holidays, I seem to spend money like water no matter how careful I'm trying to be!

 

Yeah, so my money is always going to be stretched to breaking point. But if I have to do boring things like pay for my own food I'd be in major trouble... 

 

But I do still want to try living in Bristol for a while, I'm just going to have to be smart about it and ensure I have things like a job and somewhere to live in place before making a run for the hills (as it were). This may mean I don't make it down there for some time yet, but I will. One day.

 

We arrived home last night to a slight electrical tragedy. In that we had none. And apparently hadn't for more than 24hrs judging from the stink in the fridge! Not great... I had topped the meters before going away but apparently not by enough! I have today had to throw a freezers worth of stuff in the bin. Along with a few disgusting things from the fridge that I probably could have found new lifeforms on!

 

And I thought about what my life has come to. I think I am at bottom, because other than being actually homeless there isn't much further to fall. I deliberately sat and watched a weepy film last night as I needed to have a release from all the unspoken emotions I've been holding on to whilst with himself.

 

I realised I'd done that terrible thing of telling my daughter why her father was a tw*t (no, no I didn't say that exactly). But I have been encouraging her to see that he doesn't treat her the way she deserves. I think that was most brought home to me by the fact there was a poor chap who ended up sitting next to her on the way home yesterday. Now this lovely guy spent an hour and a half chatting with her and keeping her amused. Without being asked, without complaining about it. 

 

See, nice people still exist, I feel you find them more easily with kids around. But I know that K would have spent 10mins and then started getting annoyed with her. Nevermind a full 5hr journey. Now, don't get me wrong, I can't put up with her for 5hrs on a train either. I was *very* glad that this nice man arrived to distract her for a bit.

 

But on the way down, when it was just me and her, and the train was even more crowded, we managed. I might have shouted a little, she may have sulked a little. But it was ok. If K had done it, there would have been hell on. He can't even drive us anywhere with out losing his temper with her at some point.

 

So glad he doesn't do it full time. 

 

It boggles really, he's so good with her when he wants to be. But therein lies the issue. When *he* wants to. Not her. He cannot put others first, he's all about the money and the power and the what does he get out of it. If you're what he wants he's an overwhelming personality. So sweet and funny and kind and caring. Once you're off his radar you might as well have moved to China.

 

He made madam and I feel like possessions, toys even, this last week. There for him to pick up and play with when it suited him, but not interesting enough to put effort into. Madam said to me "My daddy took me to the cinema" when I asked what exactly he'd done whilst we'd been there. And I said "No, I think you'll find your daddy dropped us at the cinema and then left. Bit like when he dropped us at the hairdressers and didn't come back when he said he would" "Oh, yeah. My daddys a bit rubbish, isn't he mummy?"

 

"Yes, darling. He is."

 

Sadly, I don't think I'm going to be spending that long down in Bristol again. I'm not putting madam through that again. When he only gets her for a weekend, he makes time for her much more. So that's what it'll have to be. 

 

I've forgotten to bring my phone out with me, so I have no new pictures to add today... I'll have to find an old one for you instead!

 

    

my mistakes and why I don't regret them

I was reading a blog post last night on 10 blog mistakes that bloggers make and it got me thinking about mistakes I've made in my life. Now I'm not a big believer in regrets and I like to think that we wouldn't be who or where we are now without the experiences we've had. I may not always like where I am, but I wouldn't want to change it because, for all I know, I could be worse off!

When I think about my life and the things I most wish I'd not done the first thing that pops up is my time at university. Now I know what you might think, getting an education is important, helping you form as an adult and helping shape the opinions you carry with you for the rest of your life. And for those reasons I'm immensely glad that I did go. But I have never used the degree that I still haven't paid for.

The student debt is forever hanging over my head and although I'm not in a position to pay it off (or to have to) it's another debt I could be without. I wish someone had been there to explain that I didn't have to go to university when I still had no idea what I would do after I'd left. I wish there had been some better careers advice at school. But I ended up drifting and never quite feeling like I fit anywhere because I *still* don't know what I want to do when I grow up.

This is part of the whole not feeling like a proper grown up thing I have going on. How can I be a gown up if I still struggle with something as basic as what role I want to lead in life. No focus leaves me floundering. I'm aiming for working in a counselling role at the moment, but I'm worried this will just be another thing that just doesn't quite work out.

Most importantly though if I hadn't been to university I would probably never have found the courage to do things by myself. I would never have spent time living in Germany, France and Greece because I wouldn't have had those opportunities. I would be even more of a small town girl than I already am. I might have a bit more self confidence, but I would have lost all those experiences and I would never have met the man who became the father of my child.

Massive arc to follow there, but if I hadn't gone to uni I wouldn't have ended up in the job I had with the person I went on holiday with where I met my future husband. See, mistakes can lead to happiness too.

Which brings me to the husband. Was he a mistake? I suppose I would have to say yes, given how it ended up, but the previous point applies here too. No husband, no madam. And ok, I could have been with someone else who I might have had child (ren) with, but I also might have never found anyone who made me feel like I had been loved. Cause, in his way, the husband does love me. I just don't love him back any more.

My other mistakes are mainly small and consist of me not always being very good at being a friend. I've let friends down (I forgot to go to friend Lucy Lockett's bday party once). I've always felt awful about that, but I think she's probably forgiven me by now (we're still friends after all!). But I think my best and dearest friends are used to me by now. They know that I will (unless I forget) always be there for them. There is no reason why time or distance should put a stop to friendships.

 

My life has been full of things I instantly wish I could take back. But learning to deal with those things and move on is what makes us stronger, better people. I hope that I keep making mistakes and keep growing and learning. It might not always feel great at the time, but it's the best way I know to help you feel alive!