3 May 2013

on relationships and a dream man

I had a really good chat with one of my college friends last night and we both discussed how we seem to have picked similar men to each other. Charming and funny, caring and kind and then turning into something completely different over time.
We were saying it was strange that we should be sad over the ending of bad relationships as it doesn't seem to make sense. I was impressed by how determined my friend was to toughen up and get over what had happened and move on. Onwards and upwards, as they say!
I, however, still haven't got on with sorting out my divorce. It's quite far down my list of priorities at the moment. I still feel it's fairly important for me to get my house and finances sorted first. And to be fair, the longer we're separated the easier it is for me to claim full custody on grounds of abandonment as well as because of the violence in the relationship.
Not that he seems to be considering this idea at all yet. He still seems to think I'm about to forget what happened, forgive him and have more babies with him. Apparently, he thinks pigs fly as well, so that might explain it! As a friend of mine says, he might have got away with leaving me as a single parent once, but letting him do it twice would be my own stupid fault!
I have to confess that the idea of having any more children with the same father as the child I already have is more appealing than having multiple fathers. But I don't want to have to have him in my life any more than is necessary! And plus, do I really want to give another child a pathetic excuse for a dad instead of having one who's actually going to be there for their child. That'd be a no...
I can't say I'm actually looking for another boyfriend at the mo, again, I have other priorities. But it would be nice. It might even spur me on to sort out the divorce thing!
It would be nice to have a person I could share things with again. To have someone to be there for me and help me make decisions. Someone to make me smile and to support me when I'm low. And it would be nice if they actually appreciated my intelligence and saw it as an asset, not something to be jealous of.
And if they were quite nice to look at, that would be a bonus! ;)

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