9 May 2014

Parenting - How Do I Deal With Temper?

Hello, lovelies. How are you? I'm kinda tired, but its Friday, bring on the weekend! I have actually got no hope of having a peaceful weekend, but I can dream...

Madam has been horrid the last couple of days, culminating in her throwing a pair of (incredibly sharp) scissors at me yesterday. I'm sure its just a case of being hideously tired as she had had a very busy couple of days, but I can't cope with her behaving like that to me! She *needs* to work on her temper. 

I think it frightens her when she loses control like that. My main issue really was not the throwing of the scissors, but the fact she didn't apologise. She was so busy begging me to let her keep doing Rainbows (I told her it obviously made her too tired and cranky) that she didn't consider how she might go about making amends. 

I am at another impasse with her. I have to seriously consider whether her temper is worth letting her do something she clearly loves. Whilst I'm glad she controls herself with other people I can't be her punching bag any longer. She knows that I don't tolerate hitting, she remembers what happened when Daddy punched me after all. So this is why she throws things instead.

I'm considering throwing things away that she throws at me, so she learns to keep hold of her stuff. But then she'll throw my things at me, she's not stupid... I have nowhere that I can use to confiscate things to, either. I might try getting a lidded plastic box where I can put things that are confiscated and then make a list of ways to earn things back. 

Not sure it'll work, but it has to be worth a try. I dread her getting older and still being incapable of controlling herself. She will end up really hurting me, she's very strong already. This morning she pulled my hair really hard because she didn't want me to get out of bed. I pulled hers back, which was probably not very clever of me, but she needs to know how much that hurts! 

It's not really a cure all technique is it. I would simply be teaching her to retaliate like for like. And I spend ages telling her not to retaliate at school etc. Way to be a hypocrite Pearl. 

And you know the stupid thing? Despite her size and strength it seems to be her that gets shoved around at school! She told me she was pushed over three times the other day. Each time by a different student and each time she told the teacher who then dealt with it. But it seems to happen a lot and this is obviously something else that's winding her up. 

It's so hard to know what to do for best. I'm not convinced raising it with her teacher will really help. She is dealing with it and I should respect that. I'm just not sure she realises that madam is as upset by it as she is. She is the master of picking herself up and getting on with it.  Which must look like she's just brushing it off, but then I get it in the neck later. 

I really want to be able to help her, does anyone have any suggestions? I'm not stupid enough to think that at no point she might be provoking people, she is good at that, after all. But how do I help her move forward? Should I have a word with her teacher? 

Love, Pearl.

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