I've just had a rather stressful couple of days... Sunday was going pretty well, all chilled and relaxing. And then the husband phoned and announced he was in Newcastle and would "swing by" on his way back to Bristol. Now, I don't live anywhere near either of these two places so swinging by isn't usually something someone would do. Moreover, I worked out if he was coming then he'd be arriving just before madam's bed time. Great.
And sure enough, whilst I had madam in the bath, he arrived at my parents. Excellent. So he gave us a lift home and I made an attempt at getting madam in her bed as usual. No way. Not only was daddy here, but he'd brought food and coke. Coke! *despairs* I'm not sure whether she actually drank very much of it, but the bouncing off the walls that ensued implied she'd had some. She would not settle. She wanted to be with her daddy. Now this is totally understandable, but when you know you're going to have to get her up for school in the morning, it's not very welcome.
And she freaked when K had to go to the car for something he'd forgotten. She was convinced he was leaving. She had to come and sit with me to calm her down. Poor thing. In the end, the only way to get her to go to bed was by getting everyone to go to bed so she knew we'd all be there in the morning. She slept in with me and he was in her bed.
Then I ended up spending most of the day with him yesterday. He walked madam to school with me, although he's not allowed inside. And she told him exactly why "you're not allowed in my school daddy, because you punched mummy." Out of the mouths of babes...
But he threatened to leave whilst she was there because it would be easier. For who? For him. I told him he couldn't do that to her and he was there when I picked her up. Her face when she saw him was wonderful and made my having to tolerate him so worthwhile.
But then, he really did have to go. And she cried. She's never cried when he left before. Because she isn't used to him being there, really. But yesterday she was tired and she probably felt she hadn't had a decent amount of time with him. And she cried. She made him cry (which was quite satisfying (sorry, but it was)) and she didn't stop. My heart was breaking for her. She doesn't understand and because daddy had actually come to her house she seemed to have decided that meant he was moving back in with us. It's never going to happen, but what child doesn't want their parents together. I had to pick her up and hold her like I used to do when she was tiny. And she clung to me as she hasn't done in a good long while.
It was just horrible.
And then he was gone. And I got left with a distraught child and all the responsibility.
I coddled her, and she got to choose her favourite tea. Then we went to see my mum and dad as it's dad's birthday today and we wanted to drop off his presents. And she finally seemed to relax again, like things were how they should be. And here were the people who are always here for her, who always love her. And don't offer to buy her things when she's crying and inconsolable, because who needs things when what you want is for your daddy to just not leave. Again.
After we got home and I managed to get her in bed, she was being clingy, I sat in the living room and tried not to dwell. But the house was full of him somehow and seemed to make my skin prickly. I was shattered too, so I went to bed and tried to find some peace. It obviously worked as I didn't even wake up when my nightly interloper crept in.
She has gone to school today dressed as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. I didn't have the heart to stop her. And after school we're going to go and spend the £10 pocket money he left her. She wants a Barbie.
And a dinosaur!
Gotta love that kid :)
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